h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Gets the feeling he should go to sultandude's home space and see what's in this book*

Corrupt, please make Happy not be depressed. I know that's your usual inclination, but we need Happy to be at his brightest and most cheerful for this to have the desired effect.

*reappears, annoyed at being disturbed from her vacation*

Fine. And I'm ONLY doing this because it's to torture Kudos...remember, I don't like taking orders from authority figures. Sheesh, I thought you all had known that.

*Corrupt whispers something in Happy Dude's ear, the code word to disactivate the depressed-ness, but mutters it low enough so that only Happy Dude hears it. He brightens to his normally happy self.*

Ugghh. I'm never gonna be able to forgive myself for doing THAT. So long, fellow villains...though I would enjoy to see Kudos be virtually tortured, I can't stand overly happy clowns. They annoy me too much.

*dissappears to a far sunnier and more interesting place to continue causing chaos there*

Wey Hey Kiddies

This is becoming interesting...

*sea-monster-under-the-couch growls again at happy clown*

a knock on the door, and a delivery boy comes in with a good-sized package, which reads "from NYC Student, someplace warm, to Happy Clown, Bio-Lab torture chamber"*

[HappyDude] wey hey! wonder what it could be?

*HappyDude opens the package, and is smacked in the face with a spring-loaded cream pie*

[HappyDude] yum!

*The cream pie explodes*

...

'Lemon flavour - my favourite, nice kick to it aswell'

[Happy starts playing with his tickleing stick]

'Anyone seen Sea ?'

Of course. Flopsy?

[Flopsy looks up]

Why don't you go join them?

[Flopsy readily agrees, joins the system, and attacks Kudos]

*sea-monster-under-the-couch cowers at the sound of happy clown's voice*

'Wey Hey Kiddes '

*Gets tired of waiting, and pushes Happy into the chair, which clamps him into position. KL pulls down the plunger-like device, attaches it to Happy's head, and pulls the Great Big Lever. Several jacob's ladders turn on, the lights in the room dim, Happy gets a strange look on his face, before appearing on a screen. Happy looks around at the cave he has appeard in*

Good. Now all I have to do is program this to allow Kudos to enter.

*Stares at Flopsy*

Flopsy, please don't attack Kudos yet. Kudos isn't awake, and can't appreciate the torture. Afterwards, though, have fun.

'oooooooooooo this is strange ? still it could be fun !'

*sea crawls out from under the couch now that happy clown has been restrained*

[Flopsy salutes in response]

Happy decides to have a quick nap in the nice cave

*Spoken into a microphone so that Happy can hear*

Don't get too comfortable, Happy. You've got a job to do: annoying Kudos.

*KL finishes connecting various wires and controls to Kudos' brain. He connects all of them to a giant CPU, and flips the switch*

All we have to do now is wait for Kudos to wake up. When Kudos does so, the alien will be in for a very, very interesting surprise.

This sounds good.

*Watches a confused looking Kudos materialize on the screen*

Okay, this is proceeding very well. The only person that Kudos has any chance of possibly injuring is Happy. And we all know how well that is going to work. Let the annoyances of Kudos begin!