h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've just spent more than an hour poring over the bus timetables, trying to find a way of getting to the local Indian food shop either today or tomorrow, and in a way that isn't going to take me more than an hour to do the four-mile journey, which I could do in ten minutes if I had a car.

I've finally found a way of doing it that's going to take me 35 minutes to get there and 45 minutes back, with a good half hour in the shop... except now I can't remember what I wanted to go there for, specifically*

*Obviously I'm going to browse the shelves and come back with a bunch of stuff I don't currently know I need

More power to ya!


I just can't even imagine trying to live my life without a car in Texas. Where you live in Austin is one of the very few places it's even conceivable. In Houston and Dallas, within very narrow conditions and neighborhoods it is barely conceivable as well, but I don't think I could do it. I'm not saying I wouldn't want to. I'd love to (mostly) ditch my car and use public transportation. But it just isn't feasible outside of Houston's inner loop, and even then, only between certain neighborhoods and certain areas like downtown and the Med Center. And my job skills don't offer me much opportunity to fit those commutes. There are a very limited number of jobs in those areas I might be qualified for that would pay me enough to live in the handful of neighborhoods with public transportation (of course those neighborhoods are quickly becoming unaffordable through gentrification as so much of Austin is). The problem is those few jobs are taken and they have long lists of folks in Houston with similar skills to mine. Well, not exactly mine, but the skills needed for the jobs I might qualify for in Houston. I have a very unique set of skills that qualify me for a job that very few do. "Scanning astronaut flight film" is a rare job description.

But I digress...

Even if I could snag one of those jobs and it paid a decent wage and I lived in one of those transportationally convenient neighborhoods, I can't imagine what shopping would be like.

I've been very fortunate in that there are several shops and stores within a mile or two of Fort/Castle Gosho, particularly a certain foodie supermarket that isn't Wholepaycheque, and now a very good food co-op. Also a Tarjay, a charity shop where I seem to buy most of my clothes, and a liquor store, amongst others, so either walking or taking a short bus ride has been a piece of cake. It's one of the biggest reasons I've stayed here despite the utterly stupid rent I'm paying now.

Even so, it amazes me too how, especially while I was working at the Drafthouse, I managed to shop for food. Oh, not because it was inconvenient to do it without a car. I had a great deal of disposable income and I did so. Dispose of it. But only once a week. I did my entire weekly food shop in one trip to the foodie place and rarely brought home more than I could fit in one backpack and one (sometimes two) grocery bag(s).

The truly astonishing thing about this is that anything from a third to a half of my purchases each week were beer

I'm very good at packing a lot of stuff into a backpack and a grocery bag

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-33124433
'Text walking lanes': Antwerp sets up temporary scheme


Here's how I see it...

Gentlemen, we have two basic suggestions for the design of this text walking lane, and I thought it best if the architects themselves came in to explain the advantages of both designs. That must be the first architect now... ah yes, it's Mr Wiggin of Ironside and Malone.

Good morning gentlemen. This is a 20 metre text walking lane, combining classical neo-Georgian features with all the advantages of modern design. The text walkers arrive here and are carried along the lane on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort, past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last 20 feet of the lane are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes, and the mangled flesh slurps into these containers.

I'm writing out my list for the shopping trip later today. Instead of condensed milk I wrote (without thinking about it) 'connie onnie'.

From what recesses of my brain did that come? I haven't said connie onnie for decades

Beer is on sale at one of the places where I buy most of my food; bacon is on sale at the other. It's like I've died and gone to... oh, wait, there is no heaven. It's like... right now

Do they say that over there? I assume you mean they are on sale at a reduced price. "On sale" means to me that they sell it. "On offer" means they're selling it for less this week. Sorry about the pedantry - I just wanted to be able to picture your idea of bliss more accurately

It's on sale at a lower price than before. I've been here so long now that I honestly can't remember if saying something's on sale is an American phrase I've picked up, or if it's something I used to say back there. That's becoming more common these days. One thing I know for sure though - I've always pronounced it skedule, never shedule.

To me, "on sale" does mean it's reduced. If you just mean it's available to buy, I would say it's "for sale".

*Sigh*
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/CID1nUjUkAA2Shn.png:large

I really miss cricket.

"NI driver dies in Belgium bus crash"

Unnecessary, BBC. 'Zarking Fardwarks bus crash' would have sufficed.

That's been one of my Petty Hates for a long time. What happened to the word "Belgian" - or Indian, or Canadian or German or Spanish or Turkish or Iranian.....

That crash story is horrendous though.

Nothing yet on what caused it. After the plane crashing into the Alps recently, you do wonder...

Here I am drunk and it's only half past Tuesday. Time for an egg banjo I reckon.

Ohhh, the last time I had one of those, I can't remember. It must have been last year, at least. It feels like longer, but there's no way more than 18 months would have passed without one. That would never happen.

A liberal application of John Barleycorn will help in that respect

I'm so hungry right now, but I probably shouldn't be let within a country mile of anything dangerously hot or... dangerous, like a gas ring or hot fat or anything similar

I think this is a first for me since I came to Texas, and certainly since I had my last regular job in the UK.

A paid public holiday

I should probably clarify that. A paid day off on a public holiday.

Congratulations! I hope you manage to avoid all the excessively crowded places! And all the excessively hot places, which I'm guessing is nearly everywhere without air conditioning at this time of year!

I think I went to the crowded places last night

Today's the observed day for the holiday because July 4th falls on a Saturday this year, and I'll be working tomorrow anyway because Saturday is my Wednesday now that I'm back on a Thursday to Monday schedule. It's a bit of a drag that I won't be getting a three-day weekend like everyone else, but I can hardly complain at my hours this week: Off Sunday, work Monday, off Tuesday and Wednesday, work Thursday, off Friday Then I work the next three days (two of them on my own in the peace and quiet) and have Tuesday and Wednesday off again

Is it time for the hair of the yet?