My pants are faster than the speed of light.

Hi, my name here is Superluminal Fruitloop. You can call me Scott if you want, but it's really up to you. I'm not forcing you to, or anything. However, at times, I will force you to call me Nancy. There will be no forewarning of this, not even the most miniscule indication. You'll just have to know when, or else, I'll turn you into a Dictyostelium.

That's just the way I am.

More on the way I am: I am the Supreme Grand Vizier, Emperor, Seneschal, Head Chef, Landlord and Janitor of the Federated States of Micronesia. Our National Anthem is The Hokey Pokey, because the Micronesian lot simply isn't very creative. I also dress up condiments and treat them like people. One of my creations is "The Masked Mustard!" He's not a superhero, but he likes to make people think he is.


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Superluminal Fruitloop(The Smartest Kid on Earth)

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