h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hallooo,
Just thought I'd drop in and welcome you to H2G2, yes someone has finally stopped by to be nice to you. I'm Shadow, one of the Assistant Community Editor's (ACE's) here. We’re the volunteer welcoming committee, among other things. If you have any questions or need help with anything, please don't hesitate to ask. If you're looking for a place to get started, the following is always a good spot http://www.h2g2.com/A5752. There is also a handy quick reference guide at http://www.h2g2.com/A344756. Now, if it’s writing a Guide entry or two you’re interested in, say no more! Here are two links that are SURE to come in handy. The list of Guide entries that haven’t been written yet, but should be: http://h2g2.com/A234677 AND The list of Guide Entries that need to be rewritten: http://www.h2g2.com/A237241. Whatever you decide to do, have fun wandering the vast, twisted and myriad halls of this place. There's a LOT to do, see and comment on here and everyone's opinion is welcome. So don't be afraid to jump right in and offer your view on anything! Remember, if you need help or have questions about anything, don’t hesitate to ask, that’s what I and the other ACE’s are here for.
Welcome again,
~S

PS As I'm primarily substanceless shadow I can't take the grenade off your hands for you, though I would like to mention that if you just unscrew the top and remove the blasting cap inside that would render it inert and harmless.

Thank you Shadow! Alright, a formal introduction, now I'm set. I will do my best to contribute to the community, and steal some office supplies whenever I can . . . umm, apprehend people stealing, I mean. Yeah, that's the ticket.
And defusing the extremely delayed reaction grenade we have on our hands would really eliminate the fun, wouldn't it?

Since there isn't an office, there aren't any supplies to steal or to apprehend anyone stealing. I have my own office, but like me its largely insubstancial...actually it's a small crack in one of the walls, but hey, having no mass nor size limitations I simply shrink down to the subatomic level and explore it as a macro-universe, where I am revered as a god by the single celled life forms that live there. Communicating with them has proven difficult, since I can't swap amino acid chains with them and understand what they're trying to say, but I am working on a version of morse code they may eventually comprehend as I beat it on their outer cellular layer. At any rate its wonderful practice for the drums if nothing else...or is that too much information?
~S

*floating in, in her usual vague, elf-like manner*

Hi SF!

I dropped by
just to say hi!

May the be with you

*drifting off, in her usual v.e.l.manner*

Okay, I have to ask, what's the V.E.L. stand for in your "usual v.e.l. manner"?
~S

*always drifting off in the same manner as floating in; Vague and Elf-Like*

Okay, I can understand doing things in an Elf-like manner, but why vague?
~S

*floating in*

..well, sort of not quite belonging to this world, therefore semi-transparent, and not quite belonging to the RL world either, but a world very special to elves...

*drifting off*

Ah. I see.
~S

*floating in*

Being a shadow, isn't that an experience you've had yourself?

Nah, I'm most always sharply defined, unless the lighting is particularly dim or I've been on a bit of a binge the night before. In either case I tend not to venture out then anyway, so I'm most always in sharp, glaring, simple black-n-white, open and shut case view. Funny once I stop to think of it, most of my values and mores are that way too. Hmmmm...coincidence?
~S

*Looks over at Superluminal Fruitloop smiling* And stop being so quiet over there. Or is it that we should stop being so noisy over here? Hmmm...have to think on that.
~S

*floating in*

Noisy? Oh, just throw us out if you get bored with us...

Shadow, being vague and elf-like makes such a nice contrast to my other self, "Kristina, the Flamenco dancer*, a very intense and colourful person.
I'm working on a Flamenco Entry, where she will be appearing/performing every now and then...