Journal Entries
Bless Science Fiction Writers!
Posted May 24, 2001
I received this e-mail today. This is a rather famous scam that is usually successful because of the promise of profit from the deal.
Usually after the victim has agreed to enter the transaction, the con artist will ask for a small amount of money ($300-$400) to aid in the paperwork, and the victim agrees, because they think there’s a large amount of money forthcoming. Then the con artist walks with the $300-$400. I wouldn't have recognized this as being a scam if I hadn't read 'Golden Globe' by John Varley.
COL. AHMED T. MUSTAFA (RTD)
PLOT 70 QUEENS DRIVE, S.W IKOYI LAGOS-NIGERIA.
SIR, I WISH TO INTRODUCE MYSELF TO YOU. I AM COL. AHMED TANKO MUSTAFA (RTD),ELDER BROTHER TO MAJOR HAMZA EL MUSTAFA WHO WAS THE FORMER CHIEF SECURITY OFFICER TO THE MILITARY DICTATOR OF NIGERIA, GENERAL SANI ABACHA. THE LATE GENERAL SANI ABACHA DIED UNEXPECTEDLY ON THE 8TH OF JUNE 1998. HIS COLLEAGUES IN THE ARMY POISONED HIM IN THE PRESIDENTIAL VILLA (ASO ROCK) BECAUSE HE RULED NIGERIA WITH AN IRON HAND.
... (yada, yada, establishes a reasonable excuse for this letter)
...THE FORMER CHIEF SECURITY OFFICER TO THE LATE HEAD OF STATE MAJOR HAMZA AL MUSTAFA HAD PRIVATE ACCOUNTS THAT ARE WORTH US$200,000,000.00 (TWO HUNDRED MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS AROUND THE WORLD). PRESENTLY HE HAS BEEN ARRESTED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE DAY AND IS PRESENTLY HELD IN PRISON ON TRUMPED UP CHARGES ON BEHALF OF THE STATE. I WAS DIRECTLY INFORMED BY MY CONTACTS AT THE PRESIDENTIAL VILLA, THAT HE WILL BE CONVICTED BECAUSE OF HIS POSITION AS THE FORMER CHIEF SECURITY OFFICER TO THE LATE DICTATOR...
...HE ENTRUSTED TO ME THE SUM OF THIRTY ONE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED AND TWENTY NINE UNITED STATES DOLLARS,(US$31.529M) FOR SAFEKEEPING. THIS AMOUNT WAS TO BE SENT TO HIS MISTRESS IN LEBANON TO LAUNDER FOR HIM. I HAVE SINCE HAD THIS AMOUNT WITH ME STASHED AWAY IN A PRIVATE SECURITY COMPANY IN NIGERIA. I CANNOT SEND THIS MONEY TO MY BROTHER'S MISTRESS ANY MORE BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION OF THINGS OVER HERE.
...(here's the carrot!) ...I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE IN MOVING AND SECURING THIS MONEY IN YOUR ACCOUNT ABROAD. I WILL ADEQUATELY COMPENSATE YOU WITH 20% OF THE TOTAL SUM FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AND CO-OPERATION WITH ME TO MOVE THIS FUND OUT OF THE COUNTRY...
...ALREADY OUR VARIOUS PRIVATE BANK ACCOUNTS HAVE BEEN FROZEN PENDING THE OUTCOME OF THEIR INVESTIGATION AND WE ARE BEING CLOSELY MONITORED. I INTEND TO SAFEGUARD AND INVEST THIS AMOUNT OF MONEY ABROAD WITH A RELIABLE FOREIGN BUSINESS PARTNER SO THAT WE CAN INVEST THE FUNDS IN REAL ESTATE BUSINESS IN YOUR COUNTRY. THAT IS WHY I AM SOLICITING YOUR ASSISTANCE AND COOPERATION AS REGARDS THIS BUSINESS...PLEASE INDICATE YOUR WILLINGNESS TO ASSIST ME BY SENDING TO ME THE FOLLOWING AS THE BENEFICIARY INFORMATION; YOUR COMPANY'S NAME, ADDRESS AND YOUR PRIVATE PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS SO THAT I CAN CONTACT YOU AND COMMENCE THE TRANSACTION IN EARNEST.
I AM WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU VERY SOON.
BEST REGARDS,
COL. AHMED TANKO MUSTAFA (RTD)
I could be totally wrong, and I would feel very foolish for turning down 20% of several million dollars. But I don't think so.
I thought it was rather neat - my first scam e-mail!
(If you're interested in reading the full text, let me know - I've got it saved on my hard drive)
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: May 24, 2001
Playing with smilies...
Posted Mar 9, 2001
Classic Smile 
Winking Smile 
Smile with dry, parched tongue 
Dr. Smile, PhD 
Devil Smile?
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Mar 9, 2001
Homeless...
Posted Aug 17, 2000
Well, I finally put it all together. Homeless person asking for money. Telemarketers asking for money. Well, shoot! Why doesn't a telemarketing firm hire a whole bunch of homeless people and have them ask for money?
• Appearance isn't an issue. One of the major obstacles the homeless have to overcome is not frightening the pedestrians away. On the phone, a homeless man can rely on the power of voice alone.
• Feeding, housing, and paying a group of homeless guys will probably average out to what it takes to pay a group of discontented teenagers.
• Homeless people are really good at asking for money, and making you feel guilty if you refuse.
• If you don't feel like handing over any cash, a homeless person knows when to quit asking. They'll mumble "God bless" and hang up.
Discuss this Journal entry [5]
Latest reply: Aug 17, 2000
Things my mother should have told me, but didn't
Posted Jul 26, 2000
• Well, that thing hanging up in the bathroom? The one with the hot water bottle attached to it? That's a douche, not a toy.
• Diet Coke will take the gunk off your battery cables faster than that baking soda and a toothbrush.
• Don't wear that to school - you look silly.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Jul 26, 2000
The Guide - Your source for RELIABLE information...
Posted Jul 26, 2000
This is a great opportunity to provide a source of information that's reliable, web-based, and comes from the 'Global Village.' There's nothing like this on the Web today. There's several search engines that were created to gather information, (like Ask Jeeves.) But most of the people who own web pages do so to earn money, and so the information is suspect.
Don't blame the search engines - it's not their fault. They're working with the existing information available on the Internet. However, the chance of finding a website that actually exists for the purpose of providing accurate information is slim.
Which is why the Guide provides such a great opportunity. This place seems to be filled with people who know exactly what they're talking about, and I like that.
Discuss this Journal entry [13]
Latest reply: Jul 26, 2000
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