h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Switches off 'All You Need Is Love' to listen*

I could be cannon food, destroyed a thousand times...

*Iceraven who had been sitting calmly in his castle waiting for the hero's to feel over confident and drop their defenses now picks up a singars*

Fire at will.

*All the laser cannons, skeletal archers, flights of furby demons, unatural lightning bolts, and shadow demons turn to face the hero's leaving just enough time for a solitary "uh-oh" to be uttered before surging/firing forth with extreme predjudice*

*drops umbrella forward, which suddenly gains a metallic screen*

Woah...I didn't know it did that

*hides behind shield brolly while wondering how to slow down the attack*

Ha! Skeletal archers can't shoot for toffee.

*Arrow lands an inch from toe*
*Hides behind a tree and stops making smug remarks*

<(orbital)ion cannon finishes charging>



<(orbital)ion cannon begins the recharge>

* MaW flattens himself until the shockwaves from the ion cannon subside, then picks himself up and gestures sharply. The clouds above swirl even more ominiously, then unleash a very bright and very, very loud barrage of lightning bolts, all aimed at (but not necessarily hitting) the attacking hordes of various unpleasant things. Once the lightning stops, the clouds begin to dissipate *

*In true Bugs Bunny style:*

"Of course you realise, this means war!"

*iceraven feels a tap on his shoulder*

*Spins around reaching for his weapon. Steadys himself aiming the .45 at Heavy*
How did you get in HERE!!?

*Defenses continue to fire*

*Ice shouts over his shoulder* Fire team Bravo engage

*A Platoon(20) of 12 foot bipedial hamsters weilding various sharp, pointy, mean things pours out of the gates.*

Now answer me heavy. *Dramaticly pulls back the hammer on the .45*

*appears on angel wings, swooping down and picking off a hamster*

*watches Cleo having fun*

*Catapults into the enclosure on a DIY trebuchet and preforms a perfect one point landing in a dumpster*

Just give me a few weeks while my bones knit and I'll be there to help you, UH.

Oh no! Hamsters!

* MaW makes a small tornado which swerves into the ranks of hamsters, flinging them high into the air in random directions *

Hah! Hahahahahaha!

*Of course just becasue the law of probability always sides on Ice's side more than a few fly in the directions of the hero's*

* MaW chastises the law of probability very severely, and then lashes out with a large hamster swatter, a very effective tool which doesn't squash the hamsters into pulp so much as cause them to completely cease to exist *

Take that, hamsters!

i got in here with a...good gracious, look! a squadron of incospicuous gyrating sardines!

*ducks behind umbrella*

Cleo, stop playing with that hamster and help me!

*says, in body language, something extremely rude*

*continues to play with hamster*

* MaW ducks behind Sergeant Mushroom's umbrella *

This is getting irritating. I'm going to try and sneak around the back.

* he does so *