h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Ice after returning to his home and extracting the powers from the furby. has Decided that he should beef up the defenses around the Castle. He is in his war room (of course I have a war room what kind of evil super-villan with aspirations of galactal domination would i be if I didn't have a war room) looking over the blue-prints of the defenses with his assistant Kristine.*
Put somemore dimensional Piranah in the moat. I'll conduct the ritual for enchanting the forest for terror defense. The shades will of course do there useual defensive duty.
*Krisitine points at the towers*
-Perhaps some quad-laser cannons on the battlements and a few mines on the pass comeing up.
-Excellent Idea put in an order at the CLI and if they wont sell buy them from Sea's super-villan weapon store. Oh and marshal the zombies and...
*Thier plans continue into the night*

The winds are even more ominous than usual in the passes that twist and turn up to Castle Shadowfrost. They blow slowly through the trees of the legandary Grove of Shadows. The earth moans as its gives up its dead who walk along Ice's battlements unwearingly and without fear. The Laser-cannons tick slowly back and forth. All is quiet as an unnatural storm begins to brew overhead.

[Yo] Good afternoon.....I've noticed you've increased your defenses.....a wise choice.....

*From the war-room Ice flips the switch to the comunicator*
Yes well My "sources" have informed me of a possible incurrsion by the do-gooders. I don't expect they'll be too much of a problem but just in case you know. I also have a batch of fresh human women and children to through in front of me if worse comes to worse.

*Kristine, dressed in black and white urban fatigues but resplendant as always walks infront of a company(-) of soldiers*

The hero's have been too slow in thier attack. Lord Shadowfrost belives they are taking this time to plan a course of action. We must keep them on their toes and prevent them for becomeing too organized. Cold unemotional logic is most potent advantage. While the Hero's will care about life, liberty and freedom, Lord Shadowfrost belives only in crushing thoses in his way. Now he has instructed me to send you men. His finest and bravest in a preemptive attack on them. This will through them into chaos and disrupt their plan hopfully moving up thier timetable. Go now men and fear not death it is a beatifull thing... *her eyes darken* especially compared to what Lord Shadowfrost is capable of when he is faced with failre.

*The Soldiers grab their equipment and jump into a couple of waiting blackhawks which take off and fly away.*


Their gone.

I hate to waste men like that but I need to keep CHOPPERS edgy. By the way I loved the part about them being my best men. They are so dense they probably don't even relize thier the worst soldiers in the entire army.

The wind blows mornfully as a small rodent runs in front of the castle. At the movement 6 four barrled laser cannons zero and fire reducing the poor critter to a wisp of smoke...

*ice recieves a note from sea, which basically says, "if you need my help, let me know..."*

this is, in essence, a bookmark.

is this where we attack? hmmm...roll out the Deus Ex Machina Cannon and try to knock down his scenery flat walls

* MaW studies the castle carefully from the cover of some highly convenient bushes *

Hmm, interesting...

* he looks up at the sky *

Looks like the weather might be taking a turn for the worse. That could work to our advantage.

* he sits comfortably, raises his hands, points the palms to the sky and assumes an expression of intense concentration. Gradually, the stormclouds begin to thicken and swirl. Lightning crackles between them *

*looks at clouds*

*gets out umbrella*

*settles down to wait*

* a very, very big and bright bolt of lightning lances from the clouds and strikes the top of one of the towers, just missing a quad laser cannon *

Oh, Dingo's Kidneys!!!!

* another lightning bolt lances down. This one does hit the quad laser cannon *

RedSky wonders over from somewere else. He looks apone the seen and thinks ~Looks like a battle, O wupty doo~. He then walks out infront of the castle and sits down. After having lit a few candals he starts to sing

"All we need is love, love, love..............."

That's the ticket!
Far too much dramatic cliché around here for my liking.

*Sets up a Punch and Judy stall with the Beatles song going in the background*

* waves a hand, and an illusion of hundred beautiful women dancing the can can appears over to the left *

an illusion? awwwww....

Well it's a great deal easier than producing a thousand real women! Do you want to fry my brains to a crisp?

*WAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHH! THERE'S A CROCODILE EATIN' MY SAAAUUUSAGES!*

...love is all you need

* decides to try a different tactic *

* stands up *

Hey, Furby thing!!!!

* throws a few black fireballs at the walls where they explode most noisily *

Give me my powers! They're mine!!!

*decides to wait until the enemy bothers to turn up before wasting her heroic insults*

* continues to rant *