I'm A Handsome, Handsome Man

Welcome. My name is Tom Collins. Yes, it's my real name, and yes, I'm aware that it's also the name of an alcoholic beverage. If you have any jokes to make, I suggest you post them under the reference for the alcoholic beverage, as I can guarantee you, and I'm backing this up with twenty American dollars1, that I've already heard any possible joke you can come up with.

I know way more than I should about pop culture, especially Hoyt Axton2 and Jeanette Lee3.

I'm as handsome as the day is long4.

1British equivalent: eleven thruppence, twenty-three farleys, and one credenza.2Actor, singer, hellraiser.3WPBA star, aka "The Black Widow."4As far as you know.


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Tom Collins (tomthedog)

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