h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi! I've just been randomly wandering about your page and was very pleased to see I got a mention! Feel privileged! Anyway, I was very impressed by the lines of moving smileys.
*Dusts salt over smileys*
So thank you very much! I will be sure to direct Darth Vader's attention here, as he was not mentioned. Haha!
Black_Pepper
PS: If you see a Death Star, you might like to run.

hi BP. Sorry, you have me totally confused as to where i mentioned you. some of the page hasn't been updated in a while.
and Darth Vader's no match for me and my assorted space craft!

p.s. I see from your space that you are interested in invading the Channel Islands. I live there so please don't. I warn you that we are very good at dealing with invasions. ask the germans.

Um, it was something to do with rows of smileys.
I think it was you who suggested invading the Channel Islands anyway. Could this be treachery? Was I being lured into a trap? Who would have thought happy and rustic islanders had electricity, let alone spacecraft?
Ah, the mysteries of Earthlings. Enjoy your islands while they last.
Pep

i don't see it. oh well.
me that said about invading? that's odd. maybe i asked you not to invade or something. i can't remember very well.
we have electricity! well, we nick it from france. we also have a reserve power station in case france is nuked. and the spacecraft are privately owned by me. they live around my ps but on occasion they can be useful.

Yeah, in case the Americans invade or something. Sounds like a good idea to me, France'll be next to go. Mark my words. I'm an expert on invasions. Try to stockpile some grain, or frogs, or whatever you eat there. Believe me, your neighbours will pay for it when the time comes. Also, oil is always good to have. If you have a back garden, why not install a tanker? You can always sell it to the occupying army. And if there isn't an invasion after all, think of all the money you'll save when petrol hits a pound a litre.

have you been invaded before? you seem very familiar with this concept. and we don't eat frogs. although the petrol tank thing would be useful...

Um, well I haven't been invaded as such, I just pick up what the locals are doing during my triumphal procession through their streets

ahhh. learning by observation. very clever. well the Jersians have coping with invasion to a T. everything from train derailment to speaking another language so all the germans who learnt english so they could understand us wouldn't know what the doobry we were on about.

i think i know why you thought you were mentioned on my page. there's a tag in the smiley bit which will show the name of whoever's watching.

Oh ho! I'm being spied upon! You've somehow secreted your sneaky little spy cameras inside my lair, and you must have 24 hour surveillance on my computer so you know when I'm looking at your screen! A fiendish plot indeed!
Even worse, it means Darth Vader's name will be mentioned when he looks at your page! Except he doesn't have an h2g2 account, so that's OK then.
Ach, vas? Ve sprachen German, nein? Vot iss ziss Yersey you speak off?

Cameras? what? *drops a box of surveillance equipment*
er, look over there! *tries to hide box. ends up sitting on it*
so, erm... you speak german?

Ja, aber leider nur ein bisschen.
By the way, I think I have located another camera, cunningly disguised as a cactus. I bought it cos it had cool flowers, which I have just realised are made of plastic and were glued on. Obviously the cactus serves a more sinister purpose... I have relocated it from my bedside table in case it tries to strangle me in my sleep. Did you have anything to do with this vile plot?

err... would you believe no? here, take this bog brush as an appology.


i'm back at school now. it's not bad here, but we got off the plane in exeter and the taxi was booked for 10 in the evening because the company had messed it up so we had to get another one. i'm all unpacked and everything but now i'm bored and there's no one else here!

Um... gosh, thanks.
I'm kinda lost... what are you doing in Exeter?
But whatever it is, have fun. I hope everyone else arrives soon...

believe me i wasn't in exeter by choice. we fly to the airport there and then get a taxi to school. i'm back now but i'm gunna have blisters the sixe of dinner plates by the end of the day. i hate new shoes!

Aw, poor you! I'm just back at school too I'm actually meant to be writing an essay at the minute, but I really can't be bothered.
What year are you in?
(Unless you're a teacher, which is a kind of worrying thought )
(If you /are/ a teacher, please don't be offended by the above remark. The essay is looming large over my head)

no i'm not a teacher but my parents are. not here, at my old school. i'm in year 12 i think.(don't really understand the system) so that makes me 16. how old are you?

and i have rather large blisters now. i'm not taking any chances with the other shoes. it's gunna be 2 pairs of socks tomorrow.

That's very reassuring. It would be quite weird having a conversation with a teacher without knowing it...
I'm 16 too. I'm in year 13, but I live in Northern Ireland so we're always a year ahead of England for some reason. Anyway I'm doing my AS levels.
My shoes aren't too bad, but one of my friends is hardly able to walk in hers. Why wear them then? I ask, but apparently they get better after a week or so. Hopefully yours will too!

every time i come back here with new shoes i get blisters for about 3 days. it clears up after that but i think it's some sort of curse that only affects me. i always knew there was something evil about shoes.
yeah i'm doing AS levels too. what subjects are you taking? i'm doing biology, maths, english and physics. loads of people here can't walk because they've got blisters from a walking award thing they went on (Dunk of Edinburgh Silver Award i think) and mine are nearly the same size as theirs.
oh, and my parents are teachers but they're at my old school.

Oh by the way, I'm a girl. I just thought I'd point that out now; there was a rather weird situation in a forum a while ago when someone assumed I was a guy. It was quite embarrassing. But as I say, just because you wear a hooded cape and invade galaxies for a living doesn't have to mean you're male. It's just good to know these things before you start referring to people as 'he' or 'she'. Online, it's really hard to tell.

*blinks*

that was probably the most unexpected thing you could have just said. i was almost sure you would be a guy. turns out i don't read people very well. oh well. i assume you know i'm a guy because it says on my space. just checking.


























are you sure you're a girl? yeah you're probably sure. bit of a problem if you weren't.






my god that was unexpected...