h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[YK summons Shiva, Ifrit, Ramuh, Bahamut Zero, and Alexander, who then wonder what to do.]

You can see to them if you're waiting.
(points to Sea and NYC)

[The five summoned beings consider their options]

[Alexander] Let's see ... it's obvious that, given our present situation, only one of /us/ needs to be summoned to defeat ALL the Bad Guys, so --

[YK] So I'm recalling you.

[The summoned beings vanish in irritation]

*NYC surveys the situation*

[NYC] you know, I'm having second thoughts about this whole superbattle thing.

[sea] that would require you have FIRST thoughts about this.

[NYC] nobody asked you!

*NYC picks the closest hero, empties the entire length of ammunition through his M60 at him, and subsequently hides behide sea for cover*

[sea] hey!

[NYC] hold still!

*remembers the excesses of the previous battle*

where are all the other bad guy? Never mind.
*UH lays into iceraven*

[YK arms his lightsaber. Janine kicks Sea into NYC, and the two villains go flying across the room]

[YK] ... Okay. [disarms his lightsaber]

Zeb: GAAAAAAA!! Dith guy'th all greathy! Dithguthdin'! Tache a baffh onth in a while, YK...

[YK pries Zeb off his forehead]

[YK] Hey! It's not MY fault I had to use Crelm Hair Lotion to keep my hair looking like that of Zack from Final Fantasy 7!

[Janine] Um, yes it is.

[YK] [considers this] You're right, it is. So, who should I summon to make a serious attempt to vaporize this shrew? ...

*due, unfortunatly, to the lateness of his reply it seem Ice has taken some hits. He is now seriously bruised and pissed off*
ohhh you dirty scoundrel
*wipes blood off his lip as the cut heals and preforms a perfect airborne roundhouse to Heavy's head, before landing again in a defensive posture and throwing another glue grenade at Red. Just before it explodes however ice snaps his fingers and Red is suddenly horribly tied up in spandex and the fish-gun clatters to ground* Ohh perhaps thats not what he ment. Oh well... *evil chuckle*

*UH clatters noisily to the floor. He puts his fingers to his lips and whistles. There is a rumbling behind Iceraven, who looks around. He sees nothing, and spins back. UH is nowhere to be seen*

Seems it's left to me to be the superhero that NYC opened fire on...

But my super-ability to fit perfectly into tall, narrow spaces allowed me to hide in the walk-in freezer, thus protecting me!

RedSky is angry.
RedSky wants revenge.
RedSky is unsure whats he doing here
RedSky wants to see the head of Ice on a pole.
RedSky is tied down and can't do anything about it.


In an atemt to get free he trys despretly to forget where he left himself.....

Inkwash starts to try to cut RedSkys bonds using a steel ruler...

[YK] Ah, what the heck, I'll just use Ultima.

[[Ultima]]

[YK throws a bolt of energy into the middle of the room. A blue blast engulfs every single villain and does a huge amount of damage to them. Most particularly Zeb]

(throws away the steel ruler and looks round for a circular saw)

Having turble with his memory he can't seem to forget where he put himslef.

<...INSTEAD, Zeb takes consolation in the fact that, as he was torn violently off his foe by the explosion, a sizeable portion of YK's scalp is still gripped firmly between his needle-like teeth...>

<...The other thing Zeb does is to cast a spell in midair. The INTENDED effect of said spell is to have a star-studded tendril of inky-black cosmos plunge from the sky and strip away YK's mind bit-by-bit (truly horrible to watch, and more horrible to experience). Unfortunately, with his mouth stuffed with scalp, and being a tad disoriented by his journey across the room, Zeb garbles a good bit of the spell...>

Zeb: Aja;slkfje' dasfajdaf;lkjq'frj' lajsf'; ljasd'! Jas'd! Fljasdlfkjer'oiefit huhdmnv ;kdfjiora' duiowwn,cxz'ppppphhhhhhbbbbbbttth!!!



<...Dimmy also falls out of the gaping hole, landing directly upon YK with a spine-breaking "**crunch**"...>

What, haven't you ever played Final Fantasy? Some moves have animations that cover up the entire screen, but the caster and his/her/its allies are unharmed.


[Janine leaps up and prepares to mop Zeb off the floor using Dimmy. She miscalculates said leap and instead carreens out of control to land on Zeb]

[Janine] Ouch.

[YK] Mmph vrgle fmpx dm.

[Janine] Huh?

[YK] Mmph vrgle fmpx dm!!

[Janine] Phoenix down? Oh, right.

[Janine reaches into her karate outfit and pulls out some bright red feathers, which she throws at YK. For some reason, this heals YK enough so that he is no longer incapacitated. Not that he's in anything resembling prime fighting condition, of course, just enough so that he can heal himself with a Cure2 spell, which he does]

What? Since when was I supposed to be adept in the tiny minutae of a console game? BLECH! I HATE console games! They're too silly, childish and graphically inferior to computer games... On saying that, who here doesn't know what an Avtomat Kalashnikova is? Alright then!


*out from across the arena, up against the wall lie once again a pile of NYC and sea*

[NYC] wow. whatta kick.

[sea] hmmph, that was nothing.

[NYC] sez you.

[sea] I can kick better than that.

[NYC] prove it.

[sea] I would... if I weren't wearing a miniskirt.

[NYC] ha! you're just bluffing. I knew it!

*sea gives NYC a Look, NYC remembers the battle at hand, positions sea as a human shield, and pulls out an AK47*

[NYC]well, if the M60 wouldn't work, at least the volume control on this is worth a shot...

*NYC fires off a few shots, everyone in the vicinity stops what they were doing and clasps their ears. A few more shots, and all glass and glass-related objects are smashed beyond comprehension. NYC grins. He takes aim at YK*

*BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM...*

*as the ultima spell culminates a zoom on Ice's face shows him mouthing a very explicitive word. A split second later he is hit by the wave of energy and launched across the room. When the light clears Ice is nowhere to be seen but a struggaling sound can be heard from just beyond the edge of the cliff that edges a side of the arena*
Umm little help would be highly appreciated here... LIKE NOW!! perhaps...