h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Maybe you should get a block of Post-Its and stick them all over the kitchen and bathroom and hall saying that she is on antibiotics and they should read the carers' notes.

(sorry but that made me so cross that I could only think of radical solutions)

My sister has placed a huge digital clock in our Mum's kitchen - it must be for a waiting room or office or something. You can't avoid looking at it and it clearly says the day and the date. She has placed her tablets in a box with the days marked on it right next to the kettle so she remembers to take a dose a day. She is still looking after herself and manages OK, but we are worried that she will get forgetful about her tablets.

It's a big worry, I think my mother got like that before her health deteriorated. It's a slippery slope from then on, with little shafts of sunlight among the many storms.

Most of Mum's regular carers have been commenting (to me) on her deterioration since the new year but maybe she will perk up when the antibiotics kick in

...it's been a while. Mum's fine, although we're having bizarre conversations. She is talking about her own father a lot (he passed before he was 60) and has been telling me things from her own childhood no other family members have heard about before, including the cats they used to have and their antics. My sister painted Mum's nails when she visited at the weekend, and I remarked on how pretty they looked. "Yes, I had them done at the Curzon" (then I read in the carer log that my sister had done them on Saturday). I didn't go on Saturday as usual as I was going to a wedding but before that my daughter #2 paid me a flying visit and we managed, finally, to swap Christmas gifts.

The house is causing me many a headache. I am still filling her weekly bath via the bathroom sink and a large jug, finally other family members have admitted there's a problem and have called in British Gas (8am tomorrow morning ) and I've been left another list of things for them to attend to, bathroom towel radiator doesn't work and the thermostat on the kitchen radiator wants attention, etc. The back door wasn't closing properly last week, I was asked to call a firm to attend to it, which I did, but before that appointment my sister's husband refitted two screws in the door jarm and it works perfectly now. Rather than cancel the appointment with the double glazing firm I asked them to quote us for the replacement of a pane of glass in the small window at the side of Mum's patio doors which has been broken at least 2 years. The roofers came twice last week and Von left a message saying they'd finished (Saturday) but when I turned up Monday there was such a heaping pile of gunge and rubble in the drive that the key safe couldn't be accessed, I've no idea how the carers have been getting in???

I've signed up at the Carers Centre in Grimsby. Apparently I can claim free massages

Sounds like you need one GB. It is so sad when these things happen, and the practical things on top are so wearing. Take care,



Websailor

Enjoy those massages!

I reckon it'll be months before they actually kick in, I still haven't received any paperwork to complete and return with a passport photo - luckily I have already got the 4 photos (cost £5!!!) for renewal of my passport later this year as it runs out in March 2016.

British Gas turned up at 11am but the bloke was there until 1.30pm, and we need a new part which isn't covered by Mum's insurance, so they'll be back when that's been ordered and delivered...

I'm just recovering from a bout of shingles

I noticed a rash on my right hip but it was a week later before I managed to see my GP - too late for anti-viral meds (I was prescribed anti-depressants and calomine lotion to dab on the rashes). I hid myself away for 2 weeks, I was banned from seeing Mum and I banned my partner (approaching 70) from seeing me until I was declared non-infectious a week later. The rashes had begun scabbing and they were a ing I was dying to itch but forcing myself not to as I didn't want any (more) scars. I had rashes on my right hip, top of my right leg, and in the small of my back, *inside* my (rear) cheeks and as far down as my big toe. I had odd spots on my left foot and the side of my stomach, but couldn't call them rashes. I also, before appearance of rashes and diagnosis, experienced a sudden drop in blood pressure, twice I recall, and a bout of unexplained nausea. I am now almost 3 weeks from the rashes' first appearance and the scabbing is being rubbed off by my almost-unbearable underwear and although I can see the new skin underneath, this is as sore as if I were suffering from burns. I cannot bear to be touched in those areas. I have suffered with this to the point of wishing I would not awaken again

What's kept me going is that my father had a bout of shingles when recovering from an operation on his prostate, he said it was worse than the pain of his operation and now I know how he felt.

It was probably brought on by stress. I am rapidly approaching 60, and have never felt so old. This year has been tiresome in the extreme, my mother's determination to remain in her own home is laudable but the burden of the upkeep of her house falls on the family, and this year there's been one thing after another gone wrong, from wonky will-it/won't-it be hot water boiler to leaking roof, doors jamming and requiring repositioning, and patio doors letting in the rain, to name the major ones. Lots of minor ones I can't even recall but have been irksome in their multiple numbers. I am beginning to dread going round!

I hope I never get shingles again nor would I wish it upon my worst enemy. Well, maybe Jihad John.

my sister in her teens once got those on the side of her face many years agonot nice by a long way

glad your ok now love

Good to see you around h2g2 more, GB, but sorry to hear you're still struggling - a nasty bout indeed...

(Carefully.)

You poor thing. Hope it's all better soon.

So sorry to hear you were poorly - you have been missed.

Any idea what brought it on? It seems that shingles is a strange thing. My mother had it a couple of years back and she most certainly hadn't been in contact with anyone who could have infected her. It came on after she stumbled over the step into the conservatory and knocked her midriff on the table opposite the door. The rash spread from that bruise.

So, although it's the "adult version of chicken pox", I'm always a bit confused as to how you can get it.

Thanks everyone.

I was not infected by anyone, I'd had chicken pox as a young 'un (I can recall the whole class being absent over about a month) and it can re-emerge in adulthood anytime, I suspect stress brought it on as I said in my updated post last night, with all the problems with my mother's house (which is extra on top of the already-stressful job of caring for an elderly toddler)

I was coming home (a half-an-hour walk or bus which I can't always afford) and collapsing in a heap. Thank goodness nothing went wrong with my *own* home (touches wood) - I'd never have coped

The one good thing about the shingles - it made me rest. I spent a week in bed - rising merely to attend to Goldie's needs and my own personal needs - then crashing out again. Even my neighbour (the nice one) called to see if I was still alive and the second week I managed to walk to the for my all-clear but was still to weak to begin my caring role again.

My younger brother doubled his efforts with Mum. He visited 5 days out of 7 both weeks, did all her shopping and organised the chiropodist. He also performed the annual financial review with the council representative during that time. I learned all this from 3 sentences in my carer's log - I'd have taken 3 pages to write out that lot! My sister was also off sick, her health has been poor all year, she's had one thing after another and has used up all her sick days so when she's off work she doesn't get paid. But even she admits (she saw the state of my skin) that she wouldn't have wanted my shingles.

"but was still too weak"

I see I haven't lost my sub-ed head

You forgot to perview


Glad to hear you are well on the mend, hunny


lil xx

San-q dearest lil

So to hear of your predicament. I am sure it was brought on by stress. My aunt had it and my Dad too.

Perhaps it is a warning that you are doing too much and it is time other people took a bigger role in your Mum's care.

Whatever your Mum feels, there will come a time when a decision has to be made about her future, with or without her consent. Be sure you don't run yourself in to the ground from some misguided loyalty.

You are a youngster yet and the selfishness of us oldies can be very wearing. I have always sworn I want to be carried out of my beloved house feet first but now I wonder if that is being fair to my family. Thankfully it is not an issue yet but will have to be faced at some point unless I can manage to do the decent thing and pop off quietly

Put yourself first for a while, it seems to me that you have spent your life caring for others. Oh, and don't forget you have to be fighting fit for the Chase challenge

Take care,

Websailor

thanks Webby. I am actually feeling better by the day although I still have the "burns" on my right hip (by far the worse). My life would be 100% easier if I had a car. I fear the stress was brought upon by constantly keeping an eye on the clock and memorising bus times, invariably early or delayed, or even cancelled in a couple of cases and don't feel my life will get any easier until I am mobile again. My brother only doubled his efforts while I was ill. He's now back to his 3-times a week but is continuing with the shopping bar the Tena Lady collection. I don't mind getting these from Boots (I get their own brand which are much cheaper) because I collect Boots points

I have spent my life caring for other people but it was my choice to have a family and I can do no other than care for my mother as long as we have her. Should her health deteriorate to the point where she cannot remain in her own home (and she does spend a lot of time alone) then we'll discuss that when the situation arises.

I do wish the producers from The Chase would phone, the waiting is almost unbearable

I think of you every time it is on - I don't suppose that tension is doing a lot to help. On the plus side, be thankful they didn't call while you were feeling really poorly



Websailor

I had the shingles back in 1988, a beet red rash about a square foot in area in the lower right quadrant of my torso.

It developed into a classic nine month case.

Next I came down with a characteristic pimple on the tip of the nose and began losing my color vision, reported that on the second consult to my dermatologist, who diagnosed conjunctivitis, pulled out the stops and prescribed acyclovir, equivalent to 2 valtrex per day.

Thereafter I'd go off the meds once a month until the first signs of rash returned, then immediately resume medication.

So long as I stayed on the acyclovir I was symptom free.

I had a friend, locally, who was getting only prednisone and was in agony, subsequently died of a related skin cancer.

Nigel, at h2g2, had a problem very similar to mine that developed into a cerebellar ataxia, has never completely recovered.

Admiral 'Bull' Halsey, USN, came down with shingles during the height of the WW II south Pacific campaign and had to take a year off while the condition ran its course, back in an age when there was nothing better for treating the condition than oatmeal poultices.

For me, when the rash was in the active phase, the pain over the entire area of the rash was about like a candle flame held about an inch away from the skin, but so long as I stayed on the acyclovir, I was symptom free.

Then finally, after nine long months I came off the medication, prepared to go back on instantly at the first sign of relapse.

The relapse didn't come.

The condition has run its course.

I consider myself lucky, then. From the horror stories I have heard (including my cousin's wife, whose eyesight was affected) I got off lightly just being poorly for two weeks! I'm not including the recovery period like now when I am still applying barrier cream to new-forming skin but able to wear clothes and am back to caring for Mum (and this morning done some gardening)

Webby, did you hear that question the other night "what's the edible part of a carrot called?" "er, the orange bit" (and Bradley gave it to him