h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

She said that he came back, Mina. Up there somewhere ^

Yes, he came back.

But he's sleeping on the couch.

Sorry to hear that honey. Just over a TV program??

On a more cheerful note, are you coming to the meet up in a couple of weeks?

I suppose he could see the TV from the couch

You better make good arrangements about who sees what when and where, or it can turn your marriage in a disaster.

I agree, there are too many other things to fall out about! Like: why, if he hates things on windowsills, does he keep putting dirty mugs on the one in the kitchen? Or: why can't he turn the bed back so it airs? Or: why can't he shut wardrobe doors so that I don't walk into them?

I hate to thing what H would add to the list about me!

How's things now, GB?

This doesn't sound like a Westlife v football row really. Does it go a bit deeper?

When you married he moved into a house you alone had chosen for yourself and decorated to your tastes. Do you think he still feels like it isn't his own home? Legally of course it isn't just your house anymore and hasn't been since you married. But have you changed the property deeds to reflect this? Is the mortgage now a joint one? Has he changed things to suit his own taste in decorating or have you done something together such as your bedroom? How much do you share of the chores and financial responsibilities of running your home together? Have you discussed moving into a family home that you choose together?

If you own the TV, it rests on a table that's yours, you have to sit on a sofa that's yours to watch it, you pay the license fee and the electricity bills etc, then maybe you have the right to tell a lodger what you are going to watch. But he isn't a lodger, although maybe you made him feel like one.

Sorry if I'm way off mark here or offering an opinion that isn't welcome. I hope you can sort out the problem quickly.

Us men never grow up, GB, we'll always need to feel as if we're in control (even when to a woman's mind we're so obviously not) otherwise we feel very insecure, we are in almost every respect an inferior species - when we live together it's an art of compromise between the two and both sides have to realise that one argument over a TV program doesn't mean it's all been for nothing...I think people thesedays have lost sight of that.

The concert was my ~second~ request in over a fortnight.

The tv's are on all the time, in every room, and it drives me nuts.

It's getting worse, and you're right, coely, it's a lot deeper than tv programmes.
He's on at me to move house all the time, and no, he's not on the mortgage deeds.
He's happy to live on Andrew's benefits - not making any effort to find a job - yet he wants Andrew out of the way.

Mina I wish I could come to the meet-up but I can't.

Ok, forget my last post, he ain't worth it

that's a fast change for the bad since the happy pre-marriage notes

AGB:
please please Please! TELL HIM what's bugging you. For your sanity and continued happiness.

Women are creatures of sublety, men aren't.
If you're annoyed at him for whatever reason you're probably expressing your annoyance in subtle ways, leaving him wondering what on earth he's done wrong and why he deserves this treatment.
If he's smart he'll ask you directly what's really bothering you, forcing a direct answer to get to the core of the dissent. Most men aren't that smart though.
If you tell him directly instead, then he'll immediately know what's wrong, and you can start to sort some out some agreement.
Alternatively, if you decide you've had enough, you can also tell him to get the hell out of Dodge. It's really up to you.

Hugs, babe. Be strong.

Thanks everyone.

s

Hey baby - huge s

So sorry I'll not be able to see you at the meet

But my thoughts are with you and this new phase of your life - hope you can work things out, I know you can

hey GB, hope it all gets better

KQ xx

No more funny comments

Sorry - No wand

This is too real

God bless

I'll go alon with JermsG - but a word of warning - you might think you _are_ telling him bluntly but to a man you may still be coming across like Eric Cantona at a press conference...we really are that stupid, relatively speaking.

True. Men tend to like their women soft and cuddly, not razor-tongued. The trick is to find the balance between that and being too subtle.

I like both together - maybe that's where I've been going wrong?

lol!

I *told* him to take Ashley to his relatives in Coventry to collect all his Xmas - and he did!
As Ash returns to school tomorrow, he's had to go collect him today.

So, there's just me & Andrew for most of today. We're playing "Guess Who?" and "Kerplunk"