h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

DD - Are you by any chance going out tonight?

Oh yes.

I ~must~ have guessed!
Good luck, hon.

Checklist

Shirt Ironed. Yes
Trousers ironed. Yes
Boots Polished. No need still newish.
Money. Yes
Protection. Yes.
Emergecny Taxi money. Yes.

Ok I'm ready and I have only 6 hours to go.

Tipacla enthuseast as if I can talk I am reddy and I only have 144 houers to go

DD, you out on the on pull tonight?

Good luck if you are.
Good to see protection on your list, at least you don't have to worry about getting pregnant though.

Uless he is verry confused

Indeed.

Checks other detail.

Yep I'm still male and gay.

Sorry, normally I wouldn't say things like that, it was just on my mind a bit. Not about you, of course.

Mina!
I hope ~you~ were careful last night!

Yes, of course I was!
'orrible diseases and unwanted babies not very sexy at all.

Still here still not depressed stil clock waching thought this would help pass the time.

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.
"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies
"O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife
"No, no boyfriend either."
"Do you have a partner then?"
"No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own."
After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman.
"You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black"
"Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black."
"Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."
"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes."
"Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."
At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Well thank god for that!"
"What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.
"Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that it was going to bark."

now therer is more if you can stand it.

I think I am glad I have to work tonight.

Get your lovers tested, I do.

~remembers going for an HIV test;

NURSE; When was the last time you had unprotected sex?
GOOF; *looks at watch* About three hours ago.
NURSE; *glares* But you do understand that...
GOOF; Yes, that's why were both here. We got some news. It's probably both of us on neither.

Luckily we were both negative.
That was when I was young and stupid, now I'm older and stupid (and still negative)~

I'd ask for a test when I decided I wanted to ditch the condoms. ATM I can't think of a reason why I'd want to do that.

I remember someone doing that but being an arful lot meaner to the nurse. THey happend to be a consultant and the nurse happend to be the partner that they had just slepd with. now At that exact moment I noticed my shoe was untied so I did not see the nurse saverly beat the docter (or that is what I said in cort) although for some reason the nurse and me are now great friends and she has not slept with a docter since.
I think what got her anoyed was the docter saying "a whore like you has abvasly got Aids so I want to be tested" now I am only young but even I can see that that is not the thing to say

That's a hateful thing to say! And was obviously meant to hurt.....

Why do you think I lied in cort although he was a docter and that is usally enough for me to do moast things

I wonder how DD is getting on at his night out. He was looking forward to it!

yes I think we gatherd that
well I wish him luck any way