h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do you want to kill the white lynx say so hear! Or if you have information on fellow lynx hunters, or have information on the famous 'White Lynx' please say so.

Zaphob

I gathered that we were going to execute he who wishes to slaughter the White Lynx.
Either way, we must first discover who last saw the White Lynx.
Come with me to Anthea's office. We shall see what learning we can gain.

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What they said.

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orders...
whos taking charge?

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Well, if none are willing, I shall take charge. But only if no other wishes it upon themselves.

In any case, I believe our best luck would be to go to the habitat of the White Lynx. There we cas speak to some natives near by and perhaps find tracks. Is anyone a skilled tracker?

Well, I'm a Gray, a Shadow. A scout should probably be good at tracking.

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Very well scouter, you shall be Cheif Tracker.
Angora, I believe we simply venture forth while still keeping within bounds.

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artic snow plains

So, let our party journey to the artic snow plains. *turns around and suddenly there is snow and mountains everywhere* *hands everyone goggles and snowshoes which seemingly come from nowhere* We shall need these. Snow-blindness is a danger here. *pulls on a huge fur coat made of polorbear hide and fur and pulls on snow boots made of grey narwhal hide that come up to her thighs; surprisingly enough, she does not take off her warrior's skirt* Let us take our leave. Perhaps at the top of that rise we can see something. *trudges toward a hill capped in snow*

*puts on coat and googles and boots and follows*

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Wisdom is simply that which has been known from the
beginning but that you take enough time to find out that you know.
Besides, what does humor have to do with common sense?

But, if it's a joke you want, then here:

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing."

The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans.

After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. "This recession's really putting a big dent in my income," he told them. "From now on, I'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans."

The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they accepted his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street.

"Look," he said, "I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?"

"A freakin' quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed. "If you think we're going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts! No way, dude. We quit!" And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.