h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's allright. A 40 year old man made me a balloon animal at the club last night. A BALLOON ANIMAL. Who does that? Not dwelling on the fact that he was ugly and old enough to be my father, he could have bought me a drink, whatever. No... he made me a balloon animal.

This is what my life has been reduced to.

Even worse, the minimum age for a woman to look at me is 30, I happen to be 22, what is with this? Worse than that: my last girlfriend's mother asked my privately if I "liked doing things with older women." She happens to be 38, and a mother of three, two of which are within 2 years of my age, go figure.

OH, and did I forget to mention that she's married too?

People... people are just WRONG. I like to scream things at people that do stuff like that. They count on YOU being embarassed and keeping it quiet. In my opinion, they are totally taking advantage. What have YOU got to be embarassed about? It's their indiscretion.

I hate poeple.

No offense to you, but I HATE WOMEN! Anyways, another of my favorites is these 16-year-olds that prance around wearing nothing and pretend to be older, until you ask, upon which you find out that you've been looking at someone that can get you thrown into prison. What's with women?

But, the real reason that I'm bitter is that all of the girls/women in my age category around here are either Barflies(barwhores), or too stuck up to date someone that is merely human (meaning not a model or a billionaire or something).

Again I ask WHAT'S WITH WOMEN?

What's gooing on now?

My bob, it's him!!!!!!!

Who?

You. Sheesh the guy's been away for so long he doesn't even regonise himself

And just look hw bad my spelling's got

It's gotten worse? Oh lordy lordy...

I recogonize that man! He's occasionally masked, but always delightful.

Helllllloooo my darling Spartus!

that... that.... that... Spartus

Eggzacktly. And only the very highest quality Spartus to boot.

Unfiltered, unedited Spar--***ERROR***

*ducks due to the pending explosion*

Look at that Akasword!! He's using ducks as insulation against explosions!! Ohhhh the NSPCA is going to have a field day with this one.

yeah, that is if they live through the explosion.

That's true. Who brought the dynomite?

it's inside of the Spartus-machine.