welcome to my bleak world
I'm from Malaysia but seem to find the UK a happier place to exist as me
I'm married to an English man, coming up to 5 years now
I come with a good 'package' - I come from a well-to-do background and upbringing, I've got a degree in English, based on people's reaction to me I take it I'm very attractive, I have a warm and friendly demeanour and have all the external appearance of a woman who has the world in the palm of her hands but inside I am dying, rotting away into nothing
I'm struggling with a lot of responsibilities, obligations and not achieving much at all - not unique I know, but when you're depressed nobody else's problem seem to be as bad as your own
At this moment, I am feeling rather suicidal but I'm banking on the fact that I've vowed to never end my own life
At this moment, I am convinced that I am a useless wife and friend to my husband, and see no hope for things to get better
I'd like to keep saying 'oh I've tried so hard, but a small voice inside said well..you haven't really tried hard enough'
I have also vowed to not end my marriage so I am stuck in a rut.
I don't know what role this h2g2 site is going to play in helping me feel better, but I found it while searching the bbc site for hynotherapy and read a few entries by people who seem to find some kind of 'release' by writing a blog of some sort on here. I am one of those who 'have no time' but in fact have a lot of spare time but are not motivated and far too depressed to think of anything to do with it.
so we'll see how it goes, shall we?
Latest Messages
| Messages left for this Researcher | Posted |
|---|---|
| hi | Jul 6, 2008 |
| I know the obvious answers | Jul 1, 2008 |
| ace's welcome lostbrownsugar! | Jun 28, 2008 |
Conversations
| Conversation Title | Latest Post | Latest Reply |
|---|---|---|
| living with depression | Jun 28, 2008 | Sep 10, 2008 |
| i know the OBVIOUS answers | Jul 9, 2008 | Jul 9, 2008 |
| hi | No Posting | Jul 6, 2008 |
| I know the obvious answers | Jun 28, 2008 | Jul 1, 2008 |
| ace's welcome lostbrownsugar! | Jun 28, 2008 | Jun 28, 2008 |
lostbrownsugar
Researcher U12506690
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