h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

how open can you be on this site? who's out there to respond to this message and not come back with 'obvious' answers that I don't already know?
my depression is not just about living with someone with depression. it's not just about Him but I know it's also about me and MY depression.
I have an ego the size of Everest and the patience the size of a cotton wool when it comes to 'doing' something about His depression.
I've read books, I've surfed the net but still no success - maybe he is right, I am NOT the person who can help him feel or become better. I can live with that if there is someone else to help him or us - well, you can PAY for 'help' but we haven't got the money for it. other 'priorities' as most of us know would take a huge chunk of our waking time and effort and hard earned cash.
to rely on friends? what friends? haha..I notice everyone is either too busy hiding behind computer screens as we are or too wrapped up in their own world to bother about us. you only hear from 'friends' when they need something fixed or have exhausted all other social options
to rely on families you say? haha..MY family's only resolve is to judge and slag and keenly waiting for the moment the jump and cheer their 'we told you so' and having lived through years of emotional blackmail from a possessive mother I think I'll pass on that front. His family? well when they've put Him in the same box where all other 'black sheeps' are you know they would just nod and shrug and turn their heads back to their cups of tea and sausage rolls
the GPs? well they just (again) say the most obvious things - lose weight, do some exercise, quit smoking and have some fun..DUH! if only these things are available in abundance on the 'clerance aisle' in Asda

anti-depressants? no thanx, we're both already suicidal remember?

I've never been one to stay indoors - always out doing stuff, always somewhere to go, lots of people to hang out with, but now I'm a recluse just like my husband and I would resent Him when I have to be the one to go out on some errands (that's the only thing to do)but I do it because of my 'package' so I am always the one who is 'less depressed' and have had a lot of Malaysian 'training' to put up a brave & 'everything is fiiiiiiiiiine' front to just get up & go

I don't feel any better writing this as I feel so pathetic and alone. He's in the other room and I'm in another room, problem solved? NOT

How do you deal with a man who's been subjected to being bullied by his older brother (until now) and ignored by his parents? How do you deal with a man who also knows ALL the obvious answers as you but has his hands tied because he carries toxic from bad family relation and a horried ex? CBT? therapy? nope, He WONT go see anyone because they'll all tell him the same thing he already knows. go out more? nope, he has a seriously low opinion of himself and wont want to be seen and judged by the outside world

I am crap at making him feel better because I feel like sh*t myself. It's a viscious circle of 'I'll be happy when you are' when neither one of us ever is

*sigh*Well lostbrownsugar, unfortunately I don't really have answers at the mo'-obvious or otherwise. But I'm sure you'll find people here to talk things over with, your message/posting receives limited exposure here though. So consider posting it at/on <./>askh2g2</.> ...that goes out to the community at large. Oh and I've left a welcoming message on your page, ok.

aaww...that's okay, sorry was on a bit of a downer so sorry you had to read all that sh*t. thanx for the tip, I shall go to that 'link'

Sorry I missed that 'sugar(if you don't mind 'sugar' for short?), I was offline. And don't worry your journal is the place for a bit of venting. That's what you were feeling just then & I simply happened across it...there Are worse things in life!