h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*the seas look at each other*

[black sea] good question.

[white sea] we haven't figured that one out yet.

[black sea] i think we'll have to figure out the exact duties of each of us...

[white sea] we'll draw up a list back at the hideaway.

[black sea] good idea!

*evillene, who has been looking back and forth as if she's watching a tennis game, clutches her head and groans*

[NYC] we need to get things straight here, before my head pops like a ripe watermelon...

[evillene] how exactly would a ripe watermelon pop?

*NYC pulls out a ripe watermelon, and a gallagher-style mallet, and smashes it, getting watermelon bits on every in the forum*

[NYC] like that.

[evillene] my clothes! you will pay for this!

*the watermelon-y evillene tackles the watermelon-y NYC and they engage in a watermelon-y fight*

*the two seas look at each other, then start laughing hysterically*

DA, in a state of high confusedness, converts the Vegetable Launcher into the Vegetable-Launcher-club, and sets it to play some nice, dreamy classical music. He then proceeeds to dispense some indiscriminate club justice.

*Da-daaah-daah-dam-dum....dum-dum....dum-dum...*

*WHAM!!*

*Da-daaah-daah-da-dum....dum-dum....dum-dum...*

*CLUNG!!*

*Da-daah-daah-daah-dum...*

*CLONG!!!*

*Daaah-daaah-dum..*

*POK!!*

*daah-daaah-dum...daah-dum...dah DUM...*

*whish-CRACK!!*

*Confused*

Beethoven? Do you like Beethoven? No, wait. You are more of a Mozart man. I can tell. But the problrm with Mozart is that he starts strong, and tails off to the end.

*produces shotgun*

*produces uzis*

*MATRIX-style action ensues between the two*

*which is cut short when evillene grabs NYC's ankle and he falls unceremoniously to the floor*

*the black sea laughs. the white sea tries to hide her smile*

DA reaches into his pocket an pulls out a small, cheap airpistol. Labouriously, he pulls the barrel down until it *click*s, pushes a small steel pellet into it, and then *clunk*s it back into place. He points it at NYC's thigh.

*CINK*

*Quite lost in his world of Wagner now, UH is firing randomly in time to the beat. Shells are exploding all over the shop.

*all of my characters hit the deck*

DA *uhhn...click* reloads the small airpistol and points it at UH's hand.

*CINK*

*Drops shotgun and yelps*
You bitch!

~We'll just assume I stepped out for a while... and am re-entering now. The Masque looks around the forum, and is slightly confused~

Alright, so which sea was in my Shoppe just now?

*strain*

*clunk*

DA points the airpistol at the Masque.

*TINK*

[black sea] *grins* me.

[white sea] well, TECHNICALLY i was there too, since we were one person then. but now we're not, and she's the one you'll probably do the most business with.

DA points the airpistol at sea.

[Death Avocado] Oi! We'll have no funny business from you!

*click...click* (The air pistol does nothing)

[Death Avocado] Bloody Nora!

DA sets about fiddling with the mechanism. Small pieces fall to the floor.

[Death Avocado] *mutters* Dradjifadjifachafacha....

*whichever sea he happened to have pointed his weapon at giggles, then tries to hide her laughter as DA glares at her*

'plp'

ow! that hurt! just what were you thinking?

*NYC pulls out two REAL guns, aims them at DA, and proceeds to show him how to do a REAL murderous rampage*