h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...9...10!

OK Jim, well the Alien has gotten back up and...woah! A nasty moment ther for NYC as the Alien lunges at him...hey, yeah! He's coming back for more and...ooh another skillful dodge there, wonder how long he can keep this up...OH NO! A really VICIOUS looking stab-wound there to the student, hey Jim, I don't think #HE'S# getting back up in a hurry, and...ayup, it's ALL OVER for him as Giguschild delivers some stunning moves here, the gore REALLY flying...

*the alien gets up and is declared the winner, and NYC spends most of the next 3-4 minutes coughing up blood and trying not to think of the state his stomach is in right now. In the 5th minute, NYC blacks out*

*sea sighs, winces at the carnage, and heals NYC- just in the nick of time*

Ferchrissakes woman! Stop being so drippy. Let the boy die!

[sea] *whirls around to face UH* stop healing him, you mean? but why? i happen to like NYC. and besides, i'm pretty sure he wouldn't be as quick to accept injury if there wasn't always someone nearby to heal him. so besides, he's a member of STUMPED.

ow... horrible pain... hurts to move... need Dr Pepper...

*NYC fidgets a bit, and resigns to making sure he re-stockpiles his coat next time he starts a fight. Until then, he lies on his back reloading all his projectile weapons*

*sea rummages through her Pocket-Of-No-Return*

[sea] hang on, i could have SWORN....

*UH, frustrated hads over to NYC's position*

[UH] if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself...

*UH loads his shotgun and peers over NYC. NYC fires the semi-automatic that he was currently reloading and UH falls backwards*

"...UH, frustrated, heads over to..."

*sea, at long last, finds a dr pepper in her pocket and tosses it to NYC. then she takes pity on him and heals him*

UH's last words are: Ugh! Dr Peppers. How revolting.
with that, he keels over.

*sea pats UH on the head, then hands him a coke. she saves her pepsi supply for herself*

I jope it's not any of that diet or decaff muck

[sea] nope. pure, regular coke. in a sealed, original, un-tampered-with can, so you don't have to worry.

I have problems with cans. I really do. I must be slack jawed or something, but if I don't concentrate, it dribbles out of the corners of my mouth...and always in company for some reason.

[sea] hehehehe.... in that case, would you care for a straw?

Giguschild snickers from right behind sea

[Giguschild]I can vouch for that...it'ss even worse if he laughss...

with that he reaches into her pocket and pulls out a Lucozade, and grinning, neatly scuttles away from her.

*sea whirls around, dropping the straw and screaming*

[sea] criminy, giguschild.... you scared the bejeezus out of me.

[MUSIC]

*Chorus from Stan with rain in background, then ditto with bass as well.*

Dear Santa,
I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
Christmas is jus' around the corner,
And snow is fallin'.
I sent two letters back in Autumn,
I guess you haven't got 'em yet,
Unless you have and you just haven't replied,
You fat lazy g1t.
Wassup man, you been out again playing golf?
Anyways, wass happening? Say hi to my mate Rudolf.
I figure he's a crazy reindeer as it goes,
With those silly dumbass antlers,
Man and that crazy red nose!
Anyways, forget about that sh__t man here's my present list,
I hope I get what I want or else I'll be well p1ssed...
I want one o' those scooters to ride around on,
A Kylie Minogue calender,
and a goddamned Pokemon,
hey, what about those toys from TV's Robot Wars?
That ain't difficult, you can get 'em in all department stores!
Anyways I gotta go now Santa,
Gotta go down the gym
To stay trim
Write back soon,
This is Slim.

[sea] you are one strange superhero...