h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[sea] ha. i was right.

*evillene sticks her tongue out at UH, but since she's invisible, the gesture loses some of its comedic intent in the translation*

I am rubber, you are glue. bounces off me, sticks to you!

Touche!

[sea] oh yeah?! well.... umm.....

*sea searches for a comeback*

[sea] nuts!

~Almonds fly through the air and hit UH in the head~

*Rubs head*

Ow.

How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

I so long for another violent and gruesome battle. Why can't there be more heroes? Whatever happened to Giguschild? and Gaarge? and Evillene, for that matter?

*NYC searches his pocket for some non-offensive objects to throw at UH*

knives... grenades... shurikens... ahh! here we go!

*NYC throws his pocket change at UH. approximately 1 pound, 3 1/2 francs, 300 lire, and $1.63 lodge themselves in UH's forehead*

Dang. I new I should have reversed the magnetic field in my skull.

Gaarge has lost interest. Giguschild is still around, but in other forums. Shall we start a new battle somewhere suitably atmospheric?

A smacks NYC between the eyes.

Oooooh NOOOOOOO!!!!

*Smacks hands to head; it seems the posting he was waiting for a reply to didn't post! But it *may* have...well, I'll give you roughly what happened, I guess that's safest*

Giguschild looks up from the corner. He hisses, "Shut up! You're ssspoiling the moment!! *Slaps the narrator*. I'm ssstill here, by the way..."

At that moment the door flies open and, riding a comedicly tiny three-wheeler, Death Avocado rides into the forum. He gets up and looks belligerently around.

[Death Avocado] Look, *I* don't know how it got there, OK!? Anyways, *I'm* still here! btw, I would like to draw to attention my new badge: .
And Maestus...well...he's got business to attend to in Atross city, but he gave me this...*he reaches into his Grocery Bag of Good and pulls out a small black and white shape. It's a voodoo doll of Maestus. He places it on the floor and pokes it a little.* Course, I haven't made it alive yet...*the voodoo doll leaps up, and pulling one of the jagged pins out of its body with a jerk, it jabs DA in the shin with it.* OW!! You little...*DA moves to kick the doll, but it scampers over to his other foot and with a heave, throws the overmuscled 400 pound superhero (with equipment) to the floor. It then runs away and shelters behind a piece of junk on the floor. Convulsing, it pulls the other vicious pin out of itself...when it has finished, it bangs the two sticks together, and a streaming arc of white sparks leaps between the spiky tips. Yammering unintelligibly, it runs with an amazing turn of speed towards NYC.

Giguschild and DA retire to a corner to watch what happens, so as not to inadvertantly gang up on anyone.

[Death Avocado] (mutters)dajifadgwadgi..ioughta...d'ooooh... (shouts to NYC in a slow-motion type voice) NYC! Uuuuusse tthheee fffff[TO BE CONTINUED]

[still on slow motion mode...]

*NYC whips out the uzis and fires at the blindingly fast little voodoo doll, resulting in sparks, gunfire, and special effects any Hollywood production team would simply kill for*

Yooouuuu Bassstaaaarrrddd...

[reverts to normal speed]

*The voodoo doll jumps up at NYC, brandishing new pins and ready for violence and gore. Ironically enough, the shell casing from the first shot fired manages to deflect the doll's first attack, giving NYC a split second to hit the deck as the doll sails overhead, pins facing forward*

wow! that little doll might give Zeb a run for his money for most evil inanimate object!

*The doll lands and turns around. NYC scampers across the forum*

crap...

[CONTINUED]tthhhee fflllaammmeethhrroowweerrr!! *Time goes back to normal* Use the flamethrower! The voodoo doll's made from low-grade cotton!

The doll screams and charges towards NYC. However, it's not the most clever of things, and it sticks pins-first into a wooden barrel. It heaves and strains to pull them out...it won't take it too long...

*Watching the careening doll fly through the air, UH begins to laugh. He points*

Look at the little sod!

*The doll stops what it is doing and looks at him, slowly. It tightens its eyes and screams something high-pitiched and unintelligible at UH. With a heave, it removes its pins and scuttles at huge speed towards the now mirthless hero. At an indiscernable point in its run, it launches itself into the air, pins forward.*

Masestus Doll: The eyes! The eyes!

People often have this reaction to Mendel...

I am known in some circles as Mendel
Only a few people react in this way. Sometimes they just stop and stare

And laugh. Sometimes they fall over, too. Often, thoughts of paper bags pass through their heads.

And laugh. Sometimes they fall over, too. Often, thoughts of paper bags pass through their heads.

*sea watches the little dememted voodoo doll chase the boys around, and decides that now she has probably been noticed, and it would probably be a good time to hide*

*evillene bursts into the forum, stares at the doll, then kneels down and calls to it in an ancient language. the doll looks at her, stunned that she would be nice to it, and decides not to attack her*

[evillene] awwww.... he's so cute! don't destroy him......

The doll's eyes flicker, and it stands completely still. A vague blue glow encircles it...looking down at the pins, it drops them to the ground with a *clinker*...

you... you didn't...

why is it that every time something tries to kill me, you befriend it?

[evillene] this is the first evil creature i've befriended. sea took the fuzzies. *grin*

*evillene continues to talk to the doll, and moves slowly closer until she can pick it up. she strokes its head and the doll slowly relaxes*