h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Scully, what do you think has happened here?

I have my own theories... but i'm afraid i may get acquitted again...

*Moulder and Scully are walking causiously down a dark and slightly damp corridor... their torches aren't lighting the way much*

*They both here something moving above them... they jump out of the way as a limp body falls to the floor... dead for some time*

Is that...?

*jumps as the door bangs shut behind them*

you know...i was sure we'd made sure that door wouldn't close on us.......

*The dead body has ciggarette burns in the clothes...*

*A new figure begins to approach... they both reach for their
side-arms*

Easy, my name is Count Van Hazmandoo - I mean you no harm

*sighs*

I know you... I've seen you before, elusive....

what the hell are you doing here...

I go by many names Moulder, for security reasons, I want you to call me the smoking man.
*Mutters under his breath* 'Why the smoking man? I wear damp clothes in warm places... I should be the steaming man but noooo...'*

I know the truth, I know things ordinary people aren't meant to know... JFK's assasination, The Colonel's secret recipie, I know it all, and you will too, if you look hard enough... This place of death is only the start...

*Starts to slink into the shadows, humming 'Stayin' Alive'*

*Blindly takes pot shots with his pistol... each one misses*

Damn.. I really don't like that man.. there's something about him...

Where has that body gone? The big dead one on the floor?
We'd better carry on walking....

*wishes that the lights would work...not exactly being put at ease by strange smoking men appearing & disappearing into the shadows, leaving nothing but cryptic messages behind them...*

*Moulder and Scully begin to walk into the darkness further....*

*They approach a large door entitled; Test Facility Entrance: Enter at your own risk*

Sounds good to me Scully... we should find at least a few answers behind this door...

*Scully gives Moulder a look of despair, as they walk on through the half open door*

Answers, Moulder?

Or do you mean alien hybrids half frozen in jars again.....

*Scully almost walks into the back of Moulder as he stops abruptly on the other side of the door*

What is it...?

*Moulder is staring at a shear drop.... the floor has collapsed to reveal a seamingly bottomless pit...*

I think we can climb down.... It isn't totally vertical....

you *think* we can...?

*Scully looks over the edge, then wishes she hadn't*

I'm sure its possible... hold my hand...

*They begin to make their way slowly down the face*

*sighs a resigned sigh as she takes it, almost dropping her torch in the process...*not* a good idea...*

how much further are we gong to have to go?

Seeing as it looks bottomless... I couldn't tell you...

I can see an entrance to one of the lower floors over the other side of the pit... We should make our way over..

I wonder if every case is going to be like this?

*They slowly move towards the other side, climbing in through the open entrance*

If ever case is like this, I don't think I'll survive...

*looks around at the room the end up in, moving her torch from side to side*

*Everything, including about 30 decapetated bodies are covered in white dust sheets*
MOULDER: Hmmm, looks like they are redecorating...
*They both step through at the same time their torches die*
*A sonerous murmouring can be heard... Sounding like waves of blood crashing against a bone filled coastline*

*Moulder takes the sea shell from his ear*

My god Scully, look at all of this...

*There is a small light source coming from a parallel room*

*The light source is coming from a man, lying on the floor in the room, bleeding to death from a lack of anything below his ribcage. He's signalling with the LED on his watch*
*Moulder & Scully approach*
*The man appears to be a scientist, white coat, PHD in his pocket and the words 'Scientists do it in a particle acceleration chamber' on his apron*
*He starts to write on the floor with his blood*
*The words spell out: 'You can turn the lights on now'*

I wonder why he didn't just use one of the assortment of pen's he had in his top pocket?

*switches on lights*

What adamn mess... it looks like some kind of mass homicide... except... they seem to be massing around eachother... i think we should look around....