h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Somewhere in America...... around the middle bit'ish...*

"Joey Joe Joe jnr! You put that darn thing away right now... before i get the cattle prod on you boy!"

"Sorry Ma! Ma? I think I can see something over in the forest"

"Thats nice.... you go take a look"

" Hey Ma..... I can see something moving.... it looks like.... Oh my god! MA!!!"

"Whats that joey? Hey... stop playing around with that spoon Joey Joe Joe..... what the hell.... Joey? what are you..no...Jesus Christ!!!"

*Washington.... FBI headquarter's.... In the basement....*

*The figure of a man sitting at his desk chewing at a pencil and reading an X-men comic...obviously hasn't had a girlfreind in a long time... is painstakingly waiting for a new case to re-open... in fact.. he's just waiting for a case.... A figure walks into the room*

"Excuse me, this room is private..."

I can see you're used to that...things change...

*drop a file on his desk*

You might want to take a look at that now...

"Who the heck do you think you are? Walking in here wearing your high heels and you're.. ginger hair...

*opens file*

"Yes!"

"Who the heck do you think you are? Walking in here wearing your high heels and you're.. ginger hair...

*opens file*

"Yes!"

Scully, Dana Scully...

I've been assigned to work with you...

*her eyes rest briefly on the comic*

Agent Moulder I presume....

*Totally ignores Scully*

This is what i've been waiting for... an actual inner body abduction...

We'd better make a move over to central US....

First we'd better stop off at the drug store and pick up a few 'items'...

Items...?

*doesn't really like being ignored*

Moulder, what are you planning...?

*Moulder and Scully are in Moulder's Mondeo... He's wearing a mexican hat and a box of Tortilla chips are on the dash... Moulder is singing along witha tape of Frank Sinatra*

"I did it... My Way!"

Such a refreshing song.... Is it just me.. or is that Truck driving on the wrong side of the road?

*reaches to grab the wheel*

No...it's us...we're on the wrong side of the road...you're having flashbacks of being in England again aren't you...

Well, i must be halucinating then, because that truck is matching us every time we change lanes....

*Moulder quickly turns the wheel and swerves just in time to avoid collision.... The car smashes through a wooden barrier and starts to streak down a hill....*

*very thankful for her seatbelt*

You've been in trouble like this before haven't you...?

Did you see that guys eyes in the truck? He looked like he was on a mission... He looked... dead almost...

He must have been to an Andrew LLoyd Webber musical.... or.. maybe not..

*starts to ponder*

There'll be a perfectly good explaination...

...which doesn't involve him being abducted by aliens...or having strange teeth marks on the side of his neck...or wierd things happening to his eyes...

...even having been to see Andrew Lloyd Weber...

If you say so...

We're off to see a witness to one of a group of strange happenings, when perfectly normal people, mostly family, suddenly become vicious killers....

He's the only witness we have...

So...the chances are he'll either be dead by the time we get there....or just after we talk to him.......

Now, what makes you say that?

He is incredibly nervous... and only just agreed to talk to us... I tried to reassure him by saying that there was a higher chance of him dying of suffocation in his high protection facility... but.. he seemed to get worse...

Perhaps he heard of your track record with witnesses suddenly vanishing off the face of the Earth....

That's wiped from the record.....


Well we've come to a stop..... In the middle of a forest... and its beginning to get dark....

We should take a look around...

*takes up a torch*

You know...if the batteries go on this thing...I think I'll scream...

Alone...woods...night time..........now, does that sound like it could end badly to you or not...?