h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I can't wait...

*switches on torch.. holding unorthodoxly*

*they begin to walk into the woods...*

*Moulder is still wearing his Mexican hat*

Torches don't really light the way very much do they....?

Do you have any idea which way we're headed, Moulder?

*stops making hand puppets through the torch light*

umm, not really... but we're bound to find something....

*something inevitably finds them*

*jumps*

you know...you shouldn't sneak up on people like that......

Sorry....

Take a look over there.... its..flashing?

*really hopes he means flashing _lights_ and not...something else...as she turns to look...*

You're...you're right.........

*pulls out Glock*

*they walk towards the light*

*the light suddenly darts to the right.... then begins to quickly move closer.... increasing speed..*

*they run*

Oh hell...

*runs like hell & mutters under her breath*

I will *not* trip over a stupid twig...I will *not* trip over a stupid twig...I will *not* trip over a stupid twig...I will *not* trip over a stupid twig...I will *not* trip over a stupid twig...I will *not* trip over a stupid twig...I will *not* trip over a stupid twig...I will *not* trip over a stupid twig...I will *not* trip over a stupid twig...I will *not* trip over a stupid twig...

*trips*

damn

*The rapidly approaching figure...erm...rapidly approaches*
*A Moulder turns his flash light on the figure*
*It happens to be Director General Skinhead, FBI, with a strobe light strapped to a part of his anatomy*
Uhhhhh... Well don't just stand there, hand me a coat!

*Takes off trenchcoat and enthusiastically throws it in his direction*

What are you doing here sir?

I didn't think the annual sock knitting convention was held out here sir?

You don't know nothing Moulder, you're not allowed to think, you're American.
*Puts on the coat, although the strobe light continues to pulse underneath*
I'm here because I have something to give you
*Hands Moulder another brown envelope*
It's your gas bill, you're behind on your repayments... The gas board and the FBi are not impressed. You continue to screw up, you're out of the FBi and you won't have any gas either. Got that?
Nice hat by the way...

Thanks, some Mexican boy with a slight head injury gave it to me....

ok.. his head happened to implode in on itself..causing the hat to drop off.... but.. it was a gesture i'm sure...

*Scully stands & tries to to look foolish brushing leaves off her from falling*

Well, it looks as though we're almost at the stronghold where the witness is being kept... See that bright yellow building poking out from the trees?

Well, thats the secret area in which he's being hidden...

*The three of them make their way towards the building... its still incredibly dark and incredibly quiet...*

You mean...the bright yellow building in wihch every single light just went out at once...?

now would be almost perfect timing for the torch batteries to run out....

oops...shouldn't have said that...i know....

Most likely the work of an intelligent extrateresstrial race... or a power cut....

I think we ought to take a look...

Of course we're going to take a look.....we always do.....even when we know we shouldn't....

*Skinhead finally switches off the strobe light*
I'll leave you two to it. I want a report on my desk at 9:00am sharp, I also want you to pay your gas bill Moulder... And I want a cheese sandwich.
*Walks off into the night, after about 5 minutes, the strobe light can be seen flashing again in the woods, along with various squeals*

*Moulder and Scully look at eachother*

*Moulder approaches the outer door and holds down a button, he proceeds to talk into a small microphone*

This is Agent Moulder of the FBI, we have an appointment here...

*no response is given... after repeating himself several times... Scully opens the door using the handle*

*she tries flipping the light switch a few times until she's satisfied that it'snot going to turn itself on any time soon, then carries on through the door*