h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Umm...
*looks around the room trying to find an excuse for not giving him the book*
Hey, look, what's that?!? *points something behind him*

*Stares steadily at her*
That's the worst excuse I've ever heard....
*she continues to point, insistent*
Oh, alright....
*he turns to look, seeing nothing, as expected. However, in a mirror, he glimpses her bending over....is that a shovel on the ground?*

*Yes it was and as he turns around again he sees the book no more - only Alien with a shovel in her hand*

What happened to all those books? And what are you going to do with that shovel? It looks a bit rusty......
*prepares to evade, just in case*

Books? What books? The ones on the table? There they are... Every single one of them... *hopes that he doesn't remember that one book*
And this shovel... It was just lying there on the floor so I thought I'd pick it up...

Hmmm....that pile of books looks somewhat smaller than before, and I can smell a peculiarly book-like musty odor coming from behind that shovel....

What are you talking about?? Surely I haven't killed any books with this... *takes a few steps back*

I wouldn't put it past you.......where are you going? I simply want to have a look.......
*reaches a couple of feelers towards the shovel*

Noooooooo!!! Don't you take my shovel!!!!

I've always wanted a shovel of my own....
*Grabs the shovel, which she holds tightly on to*
Don't make me use this! *waving another feeler in the air*

*fails to hold on anymore and falls on the floor*

That was mean!!

lol But it was funny! Now, what's on the other side of this shovel
*turns shovel over*
what? there's nothing here! But just look at that workmanship......

No it wasn't funny...
*gets up and goes sulking in a corner*

Oh I'm sorry *puts shovel down* it's just that the look on your face was so cute and surprised........

Yeah, that was the look, exactly! Except possibly a little less yellow

*can't help laughing*

There, that's better! Now what was I doing before.......

You were stealing my shovel...

Really?? Doesn't sound like the sort of thing I'd do *picks shovel up off the ground* -especially not with shovels just lying around on the ground like that.
*reaches free hand down*
Here, let me help you up.