This is the Message Centre for Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

Don't panic - be happy

Post 1

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

I met one of the regulars at one of my favourite watering places. Frank is 82, does not walk very well anymore, but is seemingly always happy. - Well, you see, as long as one can go here without help and enjoy a small glass or two, one should be happy and satisfied, he said with a big smile.

Good for Frank! And of course I can't disagree - as such. But it made me think, what about people who for one reason or another are unable to be happy and satisfied?

I've met people in their prime with spouses, children, job, house, car and money in the bank, but who seemingly are unable to be happy.

A few of them are actually officially diagnosed with deep clinical depressions. And themselves unable to understand and explain why. Which therefore also renders them plagued by guilt.

And it does not help them that people misunderstand them and think they are only spoiled, unsatisfied and chasing ambitions and/or (even more) material goods.

Or that people do not understand the nature of clinical depression and encourage them to "get their act together".
"It's much easier to smile than to look grumpy!"

Yeah, I guess the conclusion must be that one should be happy and satisfied as long as one can be happy and satisfied smiley - shrug

smiley - pirate


Don't panic - be happy

Post 2

Baron Grim

I'm one of those people.

[I was tempted to just post that and not clarify which type. smiley - evilgrin]



I've never considered myself "happy". Right now I'm relatively "content" and that's pretty good for me. I'm rather on a long "content" streak. I've been pondering this for a few days now. How long has it been since I've been a self-hating mass of depression and anxiety? It's been a few years now. (Nearly three by looking at the date of my last blog post.) I have a suspicion as to a possible source of my relative stability. It was during a government shutdown in 2013, while I was technically, temporarily unemployed (and therefore unconcerned with possible drug tests) that I consumed a smiley - magic substance for the first time in decades. I was just recently reading some articles about the possibility that similar substances could be used to treat PTSD and depression. One article I just read suggests that one possible method that it might treat depression is by damping ones tendency to mentally "time shift", to repeatedly rehash prior events or fret over imagined future events.

But I'm also currently reading a novel in which traits like depression, aggression and bipolar personalities may be seen in some ways as desirable and shouldn't be eliminated from humanity if that were a possibility.

I know that when I was in a deep funk, I felt I had enhanced abilities of observation and analysis. (This is the bad part as well as those abilities tend to focus introspectively.) I often felt more creative and thoughtful than I do now.


Happiness may be something that also should be taken in moderation.


Don't panic - be happy

Post 3

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

[I was tempted to just post that and not clarify which type. smiley - evilgrin]

Good one smiley - ok

smiley - pirate


Don't panic - be happy

Post 4

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

re post 2:

Yes, this "happy" thingy is difficult to grasp and explain, init?

I'm not sure I am specifically happy myself now (I know I've sometimes been ecstatic as a kid - and a few times when I was on drugs in my youth). Content may indeed be the best word to describe my present situation. With age comes a certain kind of insight (unless of course age comes alone smiley - winkeye ) so I'm not yearning so much for "stuff" or things to happen as I used to do.

You have made some interesting observations and make some good points. Having tried LSD I am aware how little of a substance is able to change ones mood, perception and the like. It is a fascinating subject.

"...traits like depression, aggression and bipolar personalities may be seen in some ways as desirable and shouldn't be eliminated from humanity if that were a possibility..."

Maybe not. To a certain degree. I don't know.

"Happiness may be something that also should be taken in moderation."

No doubt. No day without night and all that.

As long as your nights don't turn too black.

smiley - pirate


Don't panic - be happy

Post 5

Baron Grim

Oh... no worries there, I live too close to Houston and all its light pollution. smiley - winkeye


Don't panic - be happy

Post 6

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

I enjoy your posts, Baron Grim. Please stay just the way you are. smiley - smiley


Don't panic - be happy

Post 7

ITIWBS

I've been feeling very depressed today.

Probably because I missed a dose of my anti-diabetic medication yesterday.

I have (coincidentally) a routine Dr.'s appointment tomorrow.


Don't panic - be happy

Post 8

Malabarista - now with added pony

I think happiness isn't a mood so much as an event that happens in little bursts, and that contentment is something much more possible to achieve as a long-term state. smiley - zen


Don't panic - be happy

Post 9

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

Semantics?

But I'm sure you are right, Mala. The ability of being content with what one has got. It is quite obviously not for everyone.

I see people chasing around, reading one self help book after another. Thinking "there must be more - and why can't I find it?"

On the other hand - and I believe Baron Grim is on to it - it is discontent with the way things are that is the driving force behind improvement.

smiley - pirate


Don't panic - be happy

Post 10

Jimcracker7[magiclink.rip gone altogether. im back.in my home from home.

hi ptp and all

happy whats that if something would happen to make me happy i would be over the moon.

im falling apart at the seams nowadays i take so many tabs i rattle lol. jim


Don't panic - be happy

Post 11

SashaQ - happysad

As you can see from my tag, I'm happysad these days...

I have known the feeling of being ecstatic, and I have also known the depths of sadness and despondency, and I think I'm lucky for that, that others may not feel so much and would be missing out in a way. I am a better person for having been so happy, and the strength of the sadness perfectly matched the strength of the happiness and brought it into superb relief so I am happier for being sad.

New doors have opened up to me at the same time as (and because) others closed, so I keep going and am content on average.

""Happiness may be something that also should be taken in moderation."

No doubt. No day without night and all that.

As long as your nights don't turn too black."

Indeed, and the "time shift" thing is something I can understand - I treat myself to happy timeshifts and try to watch out for unexpected timeshifts to disturbing thoughts. I use alcohol for that on occasion, and self denial on others, but it is a struggle...


Don't panic - be happy

Post 12

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

A couple of people diagnosed with depression told me that it's actually not that they felt very sad when they were in the thick of it. More like feeling nothing - everything being grey in grey - and being deeply frustrated about it. Why stay alive if everything keeps being the same?

(This is not how every clinically depressed person feels, mind you)

smiley - pirate


Don't panic - be happy

Post 13

Baron Grim

Here's a very personal look at depression in two parts:

1) http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html

And a year and a half later...

2) http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

This is rather different than my bouts, which is mostly my brain obsessing on how lonely I've always felt and how alone I'll likely always be.


I should probably not think too much about it.


OOH! LOOK! The Internet is full of cats!

smiley - run


Don't panic - be happy

Post 14

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

"A couple of people diagnosed with depression told me that it's actually not that they felt very sad when they were in the thick of it. More like feeling nothing - everything being grey in grey - and being deeply frustrated about it" [Pierce]

Sometimes depression can be accompanied by anxiety and insomnia. I remember my mind endlessly spinning, making decisions and then almost immediately feeling the need to make the same decisions again -- even at night. But the greyness was there, too.

They say that one sign of a depressive is an inability to laugh. I make a point of laughing as often as I can. smiley - winkeye

One of the funniest books I ever read was "The Joy of depression" by David Rudnitsky.


Don't panic - be happy

Post 15

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

re post 13:

Holy cow, Baron, those are links most extraordinary smiley - wow

smiley - pirate


Don't panic - be happy

Post 16

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

re post 14:

I must see if I can find that smiley - book, paulh, smiley - ta for the tip smiley - ok

smiley - pirate


Don't panic - be happy

Post 17

Baron Grim

BTW... If Hyberbole & a Half's "artwork" seems vaguely familiar, it's because one of her blog posts was commandeered for a widespread meme.

She originated the "______ ALL THE THINGS!" meme.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html


Don't panic - be happy

Post 18

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

I recognized her artwork. It is very personal

Have you seen this:

http://www.facebook.com/HuffPostGoodNews/videos/993761807376670/

smiley - pirate


Don't panic - be happy

Post 19

Milla, h2g2 Operations

Depression is usually grey for me too, a big "nothing matters" feeling, especially myself.
Worse was when anxiety hit, with crying bouts, panicky breathing etc.
Today is a good day - after four days of headaches that come and go, blithely ignoring any attempts at pain killers or migrain meds for more than a couple of hours. And there's sun outside - I even took a short walk.

smiley - towel


Don't panic - be happy

Post 20

2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side...

I often find the key is being able to notice those points, during one's day, when we are actually content, happy, to whatever extent it is we can achieve either; "oh I'm not in screaming agony", is quite a high point, despite not having any necessarily 'up' bits to it, as one has merely attained the point in 'the middle' as it were, of no happy, but no crippling pain, etc, and, well, if at any time that is the best one can achieve, we've just got to try notice when such a point might arrise during the otherwise bouts of agony or whatever 9(excahnge physical pain for mental pain, etc... )

There's also a lot to be said sometimes for just 'acting' happy, when one isn't necessarily.... it doesn't take much of that sometimes to draw one out and suddenly, realiseing your not just acting it, you are it smiley - zen I kept getting told off for laughing too much and being too happy whilst in the cancer dayunit last year... although some people appreciated having things brightened up , more than oters... smiley - zen err, or to say, rather, there is soemtimes a place for depression, etc., its as much a natural state (to a certain level/extent) as is 'happy'....

drug-induced euphoria happyness, or indeed depression isn't in my experience necessarily exactly the same as the same emotional states achieved without the substances smiley - zensmiley - ermsmiley - magic


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