Journal Entries
Homecoming
Posted May 14, 2002
Ok, so it's about a year since I've been an active member of h2g2. Between a busy Summer, and limited web access at uni (plus getting a bit frustrated by the amount of time I was spending on the site) I just stopped being involved.
This is a Bad Thing 
So, as of June, I'm coming back. New homepage, new guide entries, new conversations.
Which is slightly scary, cos I've completely lost track of the site. I mean, I know this place moves quickly but man... you turn your back for a bit and suddenly your nice cosy cyber home is unrecognisable...
It's all very disturbing. I guess I'll just have to spend some time getting re-acquainted...
See you in two weeks 
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Latest reply: May 14, 2002
*sighs*
Posted Mar 11, 2001
I've just realised that my first h2g2 birthday went by, and the site wasn't even up and running 
Oh well, least it's back now
*avoids complaining about the mess Heaven's in...*
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Latest reply: Mar 11, 2001
Huh...
Posted Jan 6, 2001
I haven't written a guide entry in absolutely ages. Might have to do something about that...
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Latest reply: Jan 6, 2001
It was never meant to be like this...
Posted Aug 19, 2000
I don't want to. But I might have to. And it's tearing me apart.
Wow, I should set that to music huh?
*tries to smile and fails utterly*
Oh well, guess the old defense mechanisms aren't gonna work this time.
Ok, enough with the cryptic rambling. I've been seized by a sudden urge to hammer out an entry for my journal- I don't use it often, but it really is the best place to vent my frustrations. So here goes:
I've noticed recently that h2g2 has been stressing me out. This hasn't ever really happened before, in fact, the exact opposite, it usually provides me with some welcome escapism. And it's really beginning to upset me. The reason, I think, is that suddenly, people have begun to take it seriously. Although a certain dispute between two groups (both of which I am a part of) has cooled off, there are still repurcussions. I hate to say it, but I think it finally finished off a friendship for me. One which, I might add, was extremely important to me- more important than I really wanted or realised. And, while most people seem to have forgotten it (perhaps because they weren't tearing themselves in two trying to support both sides, and be neutral at the same time) I find that I can't. It's continually in the back of my mind. And as ridiculous as that may be, it would appear that it's not something I can change.
On top of that, tensions seem to be rising in the presidential campaign. Since the campaign begun, I have remained almost entirely out of it (except for a couple of postings wherein I reaffirmed this stance), due to an early realisation that I honestly didn't want to take sides- fun and games or not. However, I have kept track, and so I've heard of some recent developments. And, despite my involvement being on the sidelines, it brought back the feelings I had when I was very much in the middle of such an argument- the aforementioned face-off.
So, I find that I have several things to consider:
1. Do I resign any of my posts at h2g2? This would certainly take some of the stress away. But it would take a lot of the fun too.
2. Do I leave h2g2 altogether? Again, no stress, no upset. But then, I would lose the one place that has finally shown me that I'm actually someone who counts- the place that has finally made me feel accepted as a human being.
3. Do I take a break from h2g2, and come back later?
4. Do I do nothing?
I don't feel like I can give up this place, and I certainly don't want to look like I'm just following a trend. I'm not attention seeking here, I don't want or expect anyone to come here and try to persuade me not to leave. Because if they do I may end up staying, and I may end up regretting it.
All I know is, h2g2 has suddenly become a chore, and it was never meant to be like this...
Discuss this Journal entry [17]
Latest reply: Aug 19, 2000
Wimbledon...
Posted Jul 9, 2000
Wow. I mean, WOW. I've just come from watching the Winmbledon final and, completely blowing my expectations, it was wonderful. For probably the first time ever I wanted Sampras to win, and boy did he ever. He played really, really well.
But it was the end that got me. I already had to fight back tears when Venus Williams won (and this is someone who doesn't even sniffle when Bambi's mum dies) and this time I came even closer. The look on his face, and his parents reactions were so moving, I couldn't help but smile. I'm so glad I tuned in to see the end of the match- it really was unmissable.
In other news- I've just conducted a rather interesting experiment. After having made numerous visits to the homepages of our h2g2 team- Peta, Mark Moxon, Abi, Anna and Jim Lynn for example- I noticed that they all had fairly low researcher numbers. So I decided to travel round the first few homepages.
It was a little depressing, to tell you the truth. While the pages of the aforementioned team were all great, most of the other pages were either abandoned, or had not been activated at all. As I rounded researcher number 30's page (about ready to scream if I saw another blank page), I was feeling a little downhearted.
Then, something occurred to me. I myself am researcher 109641, and I know many others who are higher than that. And it made me realise what a huge thing we're all part of. h2g2's been going, what, just over a year, and we already have so many people taking part. It's quite an achievement.
Not only that, but it got me thinking about all the blank homepages out there. I've been here long enough to know, or at least have heard of the regulars. And I hope I'm considered part of the furniture round here now. But there are people who have registered, and never taken part. Or researchers who have come and gone- I have two rl friends, once regular posters, now they hardly ever show up here.
My point? If I have one, it's that my little jaunt round the early homepages made me realise how special h2g2 is, and how happy I am to be a part of it, small or not. Perhaps this is all a little serious- the point of the site is to have fun- but I'm putting this up to remind me of how great this site really is.
Discuss this Journal entry [8]
Latest reply: Jul 9, 2000
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