h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Throughout my married life, it was always a very firm rule that biscuits, cake or any other crumbly food should not be eaten in bed. The exception to this was toast, spread with butter and strawberry jam brought back to bed with the newspapers and coffee on a Saturday morning.

The rule was not mine, but I did abide with it, crumbs make unpleasant bedfellows.

Now, of course, as a widow I can please myself and admit last night to eating some crisps, crackers, and then some maltesers.



This was because I was watching some internet TV, and it seemed that as I could do this equally comfortably 'in bed' - so I did, and had the snacks at the same time.

I now have ants!

Bed is only for two things really.... maybe three.... and none of them is 'eating' ... well not eating food anyhow

I thought *you* would see the funny side of that 2legs!

Guess I'm lucky... Don't think I'd ever* consider eating in bed, as I'm just such a messy eater anyhow most the time (well not as bad as my Father who has to change his shirt after* every meal just about) so are you getting the ant invaders under control yet?

Yes, it was just a small foray. They had come in from the garden again. I've cut off all their approaches to the kitchen already, and there is usually nothing else in the house for them to be attracted to.

There's nothing I can do to get rid of them permanently it seems, but I just have to be careful never to leave any food uncovered, or crumbs on the floor.

One good thing about living here in the heat is that the cleaners and sprays are all quite heavy duty in their effect on germs and creepy crawlies. Of course there are no carpets either, so I can apply very strong cleaning products to the tiles.

I'll live!

I had the maltesers in a tupperware box to begin with, but forgot and left the empty packet for their little hunting parties to discover...all my fault.

Any flying ants?

I seriously love ants, as some here may know or not. They come into my kitchen in the summer, sometimes, through a hole in the bathroom wall, and take away all the crumbs on the floor. It's that they do most of my cleaning for me for a couple of months..okay I exagerate...but not much..

Yes I've also self banned myself from any sort of snacking in bed. It always seems how ever careful you are, at least one itsy bitsy itchy bit of toast gets under the duvet. I think crumbs have a mind of their own.

No thank Bob they don't fly! Crawling is bad enough. I've not got anything against ants as a species, just don't want to share sleeping quarters with them...


...and crumbs - the fairy tale of the Princess and the Pea springs to mind.

A German saying goes:

Wer nie sein Brot im Bette aß weiß nicht wie man auf Krümeln ist gebettet.

That means as much as that the one who never eat bread in bed has no idea how it is to sleep on crumbs.

To get rid of the ants, try this:

A30062756

What am amazing article B'El- I shall certainly give it a try. Morocco is only just over the horizon, so the ants may well understand this approach. They certainly understand 'Baygon' which is sold here too.

I remember that as "Wer nie sein Brot im Bette ass, der weiss nicht wie die Krümeln picken"

The meaning is more or less the same, though

does not leave crumbs in your bed

Yep, Pierce, that's the way I remember it, too. It's actually a spoof on a poem by Goethe:

"Wer nie sein Brot mit Tränen aß,
Wer nie die kummervollen Nächte
Auf seinem Bette weinend saß,
Der kennt euch nicht, ihr himmlischen Mächte."

Prose translation:
"He who never ate his bread in tears
and never spent sorrowful nights
sitting up in bed and crying,
doesn't know you, divine powers."

I just got crumbs on to the front of my shirt, does that count?

I was just thinking how highbrow this thread had become, with an actual quote from Goethe...

...it might count 2legs, but I daren't ask you any leading questions about the whereabouts of your shirt in comparison to your bed.

No where near the bed you see.... so probably doesn't count...

"There's nothing I can do to get rid of them permanently it seems" [lanzababy]

That is because you are so sweet. But I like you that way, so please don't change. Maybe the ants can change into suave, debonair bugs.

"I was just thinking how highbrow this thread had become, with an actual quote from Goethe"

Did Goethe have a high brow? Can we bring Schiller into it, too? [ to put on Beethoven's
9th Symphony...]

*brings in a silver tray with some cucumber and salmon sandwichs (triangular cut natch, with the crusts removed), and a few assorted cannopaies
Have teh string quarteete arrived yet to recite some Bach and Beethoven?

Any more highbrow and I shall need a new hat.

I tried listening to a Chekhov play on the radio earlier, but it was too depressing, I don't think I'm cut out for so much culture.


nightcap

*nibbles a teensy mouthful of posh sandwich*

or... I've always.... got these...
*takes cloth off of second silver tray*
Egg and bacon sarnies if you prefer... and egg mayo... and bacon adn chicken ... and tuna a sweetcorn.... and cheese n pickle damn... now I'm feeling hungry and I was just thinking about bed

Adjusts volume on the string quartet to

I'll have to eat the sandwiches over there -------> points to garden


Do the musicians take requests?