h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Feisor, Ace, Dude person of unknown sex...suspect 'female' but...I've done a 'Brain test' and I, apparently, have a 'female' brain!!!

I'll have you know, I'm as red blooded a fellow as a fellow can be but as I have long suspected, but never really investigated; that minds are weird!

According to the on line test..I'm a girly thing! Didn't do me any favours I can tell you. I love high brow, 'heavy' particle physics stuff and am so gutted they've 'upset' the LHC at CERN! Poo! That's not a girly subject...generally1

Yes, apparently, folks who can tell what you're feeling, just by looking at you, are FEMALE! Just by looking at the eyes! Horror! Blast! I scored 9/10...training or nature? Either way, I wasn't happy! Or maybe I was?!?

You're right by the way. I do love my job! I love teaching teachers and I love teaching the allegedly 'difficult' folks too.

The teachers, by and large, teach themselves as I've said before. Any wobblers either jump ship and I make sure they are happy to do so, or they just need a bit of TLC and lunch out with dear old Benson. A mild B********g a bit of ego massaging and off they go! Easy Peezy!

You need a 'touch' too, Benson's going to 'touch' you. I am now aware that I am indeed 'loved' and So are you!

I couldn't do what you do.....talking to numpty weirdos like me, can't be easy! We know who we are....but you don't!

I've taken a great deal of strength from your replies to my recent situation. You wrote a lot of good sense! WISDOM!

You are, in my opinion, someone with tact and diplomacy and a lot of love for your fellow 'man'......That's quite a feather to stick in your cap! After all, as far as you're concerned, I could well have been guilty of mistreating one of my students.

I admire people like you, I really do! My wife was a 'SAM'. I couldn't have done that! Too emotionally charged!

So Feisor...You are appreciated! I expect that most of your contacts are boring and technical...You must often go home bored and tired. Benson thinks you're ace!

You really have been an island of sound advice, peace and strength

I must confess that I was/am a Roman Catholic and so dishing out 'soul stuff' is probably in bred.

Don't read too much into that last coment. I respect religion but now consider it just faith with rules...man made rules.

If there is a God...and I hope there is, surely your helping me will have gone down well! Whether I'm guilty or not!

By the way! I've learned how to cut stuff from web pages and stick them into school projects!

Well, that certainly brightened my day - Thank you!!

You are NOT a "numpty weirdo" (whatever that is ) and I love what I do here. The great thing about online conversations is that they are not clouded by pre-conceived ideas. I take people as I find them and most of the time people are fabulous - the ones that aren't I just ignore

Yes, you may hove done what they said you did but my impression of you is that you are a kind, caring and compassionate teacher, and someone like that wouldn't do that kind of thing. If, in the long run, I was wrong (and I know I'm not) - so what - it wouldn't have affected anything. We all need a bit of help sometimes

Sometimes people who aren't involve can see things a little clearer. If I helped, then I am gratified. (and "touched" )

What's a SAM? It sounds like something very "worthy"

Thank you again for making me feel better - sometimes life just generally sucks but it's ok really

Excellent, a mutual appreciation society

A SAM is a 'Samaritan' They man a 24 hour help line for folks who are very unhappy or suicidal.

Mrs Benson would sit a talk to 'silent' callers at 2am..That would freak me out but not her!

She's a special needs dentisty thing (dental therapist)by profession..A dentist on the cheap!

She's absolutely brilliant! She sees a lot of my students. Confidentiality issues? Confidentiality gets a bit 'worn' around the edges.....Still, we think inter professional liason is vital for a holistic treatment plan..so the PC monkeys can go and blow it out of a southern hole!

I'm working at the 'PLACE' tomorrow.....still a bit wobbly about that; still, time is a great healer!

Take much care
Benson

Yes, we have similar services to the Samaritans here in Oz - and I agree with you, it takes a special breed of person to do that job.

Sounds like you two are a great team

Good luck tomorrow - one step at a time, I'm sure that it will be fine

Hello feisor!

Well, today went moderately well, I suppose.

I managed to see my 'alledged' victim today. He was extemely happy to see me and dribbled all over my arm....Ugggh! Still, that's not his fault.

So, you're actually in OZ then? Where abouts? I have some old friends in and around Perth. One lucky chum hasn't seen a winter since 1990! I worked with him in a bank in London and he was head of Comps and Comms. He took early retirement. Spends April to October here in England and then flies off 'home' to Perth October to April.

Yes, jealousy is an ugly emotion!

I think he's the happiest man I've ever known.

He's sub zero cool. He was diagnosed as having prostate cancer last year and he said. 'Don't worry about it, if that doesn't get me, something else definitely will.'

I'm glad that the day went well

Dribbled all over your arm? Is he retarded or something? It seems a strange thing to do ....

I'm in Sydney - a long way from Perth I live in a beachside suburb and it was a glorious Spring day today.

Your friend is probably right about the prostate cancer - a friend of mine has it and he says that the doctors say that he's more likely to die with it than of it. He also tells me that there are some great strides being made with treatments.

Hi feisor!

Yes, my 'victim' is very badly damaged, poor bugger!

|Sydney...well someone's got live there I suppose......jealousy rearing its ugly head again!
We're having a beautiful October. Really lovely.

I love Sydney too! I live within walking distance of a world famous beach and a short trip by public transport (about 30 mins) from the CBD.

Though I must admit that I never go to the beach and, unless I go to a theatre or something, stay away from the CBD

I think it's a case of familiarity breeds, well not contemp, but certainly complacency.

Feisor!.....

Familiarity breeds comtempt!

I worked in the City of London and I mean slap bang in the middle of it for nearly ten years!

I was literally 200 yards from the dear "Old Lady of Threadneedle Street" AKA The Bank Of England...Possibly the most famous bank in the world...Did I ever visit it? NO!

There are 87 'Wren' churches within the square mile...how many of those did I see? Very few.

Many of the churches have organ recitals at lunch time..how many did I attend...TWO!

St Pauls' Cathedral was ten minutes walk away...went there once.

The Monument to the Great Fire of London was seconds away. Went up it ONCE!

Tate modern...never.
National Gallery never

Tower of London..once
HMS BELFAST..once.

I used to 'Beat the living Mother of Jesus' out of the pubs though!

Here's the missing t BTW

Well, I've been to the Sydney Opera House lots - but only because it's a theatre

And yes, I know quite a few Sydney pubs too

Hello Feisor,

Missing 't' I'm glad you found it. Lost down behind the sofa along with the TV remote, about 40 quid in small change and the odd toffee dating back to the ice age. Bits of toast!!!

Seriously though...that 't' was causing my OCD to play up!

All better now; blood pressure's dropping..the pulsing vein in my neck has stopped bulging.

So you're a theatre buff then? Not my bag really.

Mrs Benson says I'm 'uncultured'. She says I should change my name to Phyllis Stein and get a job at the Israeli Cultural Attache!

Sir Les Patterson....Get the picture...The likeness is uncanny!

In fact I think Barry Humpries must have been at one of my lessons and I, in fact, am his inspiration!

And I thought you were a nice person

Now you tell me that that closest you get to culture is penicillin

Oh well ... it takes all kinds (thank goodness!)

I love the theatre - but real theatre, none of these blockbuster Andrew Lloyd Weber shows for me (though I loved the live Priscilla show!) I love going to a small original production in a small theatre and marvelling at the artistic passion of a playwright, producer, designer or even an actor, and if all of them are talented my heart soars.

Unfortunately I have no talent though, I must be a born critic
A friend once told me that I'd be a good stage manager - I'm loud, bossy, scary and can organise anyone Yes, we are still friends

I know what you mean about the OCD - I can't help proof reading everything and typos drive me mad too.

I've met Barry Humphries actually, and, although a slightly strange (in a nice way) soul he is a very quiet, intelligent, cultured man. The very antithesis of Les Patterson - I can't believe that you would even compare yourself to Les

Hi Feisor,

No..I'm not like Sir Les....But the character is a scream.

I was listening to his autobiography, I think, on BBC Radio 4 a year or so back.

Excruciatingly funny! You're right though. Barry is an 'English' eccentric but truly brilliant, an extremely sensitive and 'clever' man. Like me

loved the anti biotic quip! Very good! Cultured...

You'd have got on well with my late Uncle Pete. He lived not so very far from you.....well compared to me anyway. New zealand.

He did a lot of am' dram' directing and acting.

Many of my 'alledged' friends have said I should do a bit of board strutting. Never! I don't have the ability or the passion or the 'whatever it is' that makes folks do that.

I admire them but would just see myself as a monstrous, ego centric weirdo.


I probably am but I don't need to advertise the possibility

I love classical music, Albinone's adagio for strings makes me cry every time I hear it!. I adore Russian orthodox chant, makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I don't know much about it but from what I have heard....it's fantastic!

I love 'good taste and manners' whatever they are. It's an indefinable something that some people have and others/most don't.

Anyone can have it, Baron or begger. It's a certain 'way', charm you might say. Not snobbery, not up bringing.....inner beauty I guess and I find that very attractive. Finesse.

I look for it in people...I find it some of the most unlikely places.

I love pre raf art...That really is stupendous!

Poetry...pompous mostly...other stuff, beautiful.

Sadly....I'm mostly a hard nosed, heavy weight, science guy. I admire engineering and especially bio chemistry. Mood modifiers, heart stuff and how do those guys work out how to tune the body and mind...That is Bloody clever!

Hope this finds you well

Take Care
Benson

See .... I knew that you couldn't be like Sir Les

You struck a note with me when you mentioned Russian chant - it gives me goosebumps too. My grandfather was Russian and, when I was very young he took me to an orthodox wedding ceremony. It was very long and tiring for a child (there were no seats in the church - everyone stands or kneels) - but the music fascinated me. The women's voices especially intrigued me, so different, so unlike Western choral music. My grandfather also had recordings of the Red Army Choir which I also loved. Great stuff! Very stirring.

One of my favourite pieces of music is Rachmaninov's Vespers. I love Gregorian chant too.

Have you ever heard of David Hykes - he does that incredible throat singing - I have a CD of his Harmonic Choir which I use as an aid to meditation, amazing stuff!

I cry every time I listen to "One Fine Day" from Madame Butterfly - it is amazing how some music touches something deep in your soul.

And I agree with you about "manners" - it costs nothing to be kind and respectful to others, though I must admit that, when confronted with rudeness, I will turn into an absolute horror I'm afraid that these are times when my acid tongue takes over.

I am so pleased that you have "just enough culture" - like yoghurt

Does that mean that you are also soft and creamy but interestingly sour and tart?

I just remembered a favourite piece of Russian church music and just wondered whether you had ever heard of it.

It's The Creed by Grechaninov with soloist G Pavlenko and the Russian Metropolitan Church Choir, and is one of those strange recordings that stay with you forever. I don't understand a word of it but the emotion surpasses language.

I still don't know whether the soloist is male or female, it's attributed variously as a tenor or a contralto.

Well feisor....That's NEW! I've never thought of describing someone as Yoghurty! Brilliant!

That throat singing you mentioned, rings bells. I haven't heard, or can't recall anyway, David Hyke but the singing I have heard of. Again on Radio 4. A fantastic station!

Remind me, isn't that style of singing Mongolian or some other asiatic countries 'thing'?

It was, as I recall, quite bizarre...in a good way. Very niche though.

Gregorian chant is unbelievably moving. Very haunting. A bit 'scary' in a pleasant way.

I love 'Ladysmith black mambosa' (SP) They've been going for years and did a brilliant range of adverts for Heinz Soups several years back. I think that series of commercials brought them to the general public very well. Beautiful stuff. The Ad's, too, were very atmospheric.

Strange isn't it. We all mank and moan about adverts on the tele' but every now and again you get one that blows your sock off. That series was in that category.

So.....you have a 'hooty' side eh? Get a bit 'lumpy bumpy' sometimes?

I have too but it takes a lot for me to go off 'pop'

A few months ago I had a 'toot' The woman at the petrol station managed to take my money without even acknowleding my presence.

On parting I said...."Did you ever get your money back from that swiss finishing school you went to?" She didn't say a word but the bloke behind me found it funny.

Were I live, North Kent, we seem to have an awful lot of retarded pre-hominids. It's not just the YOOF either!!!

I would struggle to be that RUDE! Manners are, or should be, automatic, like breathing!

Must go to work...Now I've upset myself!

Take care
Benson

No can't say I have. But at Easter I listened soemones funeral piece.

Can't remember the name or the composer but Lordy, It made me go all a quiver. I'll have to research it!

It was broadcast from Moscow and was mind blowing!

If you like Ladysmith Black Mombasa you should listen to a group called Sweet Honey In The Rock.

5 (sometimes 6) black American women who sing everything from traditional African stuff, gospel, through to rap and their own original political protest stuff.
Great harmonies, great music and they are amazing women in their own right. I've seen them in concert a few times and they are even better live!

http://www.sweethoney.com/

Did I see the word 'RAP' in that last post?????

That term is the most offensive I know! "He's a rapper!" No No and thrice No! Verily, I do say unto ye, that form of belching ist hearty and fulsome, nasty, in the most extreme!

I find it most nausiating, erksome and otherwise entirely undesirable.

Verily, it art an cocophony (SP) an Satan inspired bilious, auditory, assaualt of the very most, hate filled, type.

I shall call forth anathema upon him or her that dost utter the term 'Rap' and shalt summon a cohort of knights against those that doth support it!

Though I do know what you mean - it's not my preferred listening either

Sweet Honey though make it sound more like musical poetry, and you can understand what they are saying. Give Sweet Honey a listen, I'm sure that you'll enjoy their socially aware songs, it really is intelligent, musically attractive and thought provoking stuff, and, as I said, they have an incredible range of styles