h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Actually, there is only one rather obvious meaning... but it would be interesting to hear what else you might read in there...

My favourite job? I decided to be a biologist - studying animal behaviour - when I was three years old. Never wavered, it's the one thing I really wanted to do. Got my degree in biology, too, and started working at a rather famous institute for ethological studies.

Then - life happened. Instead of finishing my PhD (unfortunately, I hadn't secured a grant yet), I found myself stranded as a single parent with two little girls (later three), nowhere near a university... so I started doing whatever I could to keep us afloat, which led to scientific translations, and then all the rest.

I don't really regret a thing because my daughters are the very best gift anyone could ever wish for in life... but in my heart, I'm still a biologist and nothing else, and I would go back in a minute if I could. Fat chance after 25 years...

All things considered, life could probably have happened a lot worse than it did. I'm sure you've had a lot of interesting experiences you would have missed if it went according to plan! It still sounds a bit disappointing. I wouldn't doubt that your family does make up for it though.

Yes, my family is a zoo!

Now, that wasn't what I meant! But perhaps there are as many hairy things...

Well, you know one fine specimen... definitely on the hairy side!

I'm not going to comment. Discretion being the better part of valour and all that.

Especially since you never know who's lurking...

How touching! I'm quite sure any lurkers are just being protective and making sure I mind my manners when addressing you.

A little told me some of those lurkers might soon be able to do that in person?

Perhaps, yes...drastic times call for drastic measures, and my Curry Gewuerz Ketchup bottle's nearly empty.

That is one very valid reason; I used to inhale the stuff when I was a teenager.

Don't tell me you've started eating sensibly? Not 100%, I hope.

I was being a bit flippant of course - but I definitely don't think I would return home without a bottle. But the last time, they stole my sausages at the airport (well, tried, but I ate them instead...) so I'll be more careful packing the next time I go.

I've said before - I don't think I could live in Germany for a long time without getting heart disease.

Unfortunately, I have started eating sensibly about twelve years ago...

I was diagnosed with a genetic disorder, causing my cholesterol and triglycerides levels to go sky-high if untreated. Therefore, I mustn't eat any fat...

Then I got diabetes, so I mustn't eat any sugar or starch...

And then I got kidney cancer and lost one of my kidneys, so I mustn't eat any protein or salt...

... in other words, I mustn't eat at all!

Well, since that's obviously not possible, I compromise all the time. But I am very strict about cutting out sugar entirely (can't say I miss it that much).

You've been through the mill, then. Doing without the sauce has been the *least* of your worries by the sound of it!

Funny, my father was saying the same about sugar to me earlier. He give it up years ago, and couldn't stand tea or coffee without it at first. Now if he accidentally gets a cup with sugar in it, he has to try hard to overcome the nausea it gives him and...well, remain unexpurgated.

What kind of thing do you eat then? Just plenty of fruit and veg, and not too much of any given thing?

Well, I eat just about anything, except for sugar, and I cut back on animal fat. Apart from that, there's a lot of compromise involved...

Good thing Marleen didn't carry her sword during the Schwebebahn incident, or they might have arrested HER...

She went in between once before when someone was badly beaten, possibly saving that person's life. She was four years old at the time... small but very determined.

Indeed, yes!

I'm just disappointed that they didn't let the other guy on the train, too.

Then they could have waited until it had left the stations, and showed him what it felt like to be Tuffi.

Tuffi? Would that be the baby mouse from Tom & Jerry, the one with the diaper and the big safety pin?

It's too long since I've seen them!

I don't remember that mouse's name. But if you want a cartoon version of Tuffi, I suppose you could try Dumbo, the flying elephant...

One of my favourites!

It made me soo happy when those stupid clowns finally got what they had coming!

Nooooo! But the clowns are pro-scab propaganda that Walt made because of a production workers' strike!

Although granted, it's more entertaining than the variety produced by Messrs Springer & Murdoch.