h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thank you! It's actually a round birthday, a dreaded one...

But I've already had the very best gift I could possibly imagine (apart from a tiny black-and-white cat, which would be even better - almost), and it was presented to me by the American voters...

And I have taken the day off, to reward myself for making it this far!

Mal told me the number actually. But have mercy on her.

And yes, let's enjoy a non-republican victory. Before the euphoria wears off!

Have a good day.

Well, since you probably know her age, there wasn't much to choose from...

And now for a leisurely breakfast... if I were 2legs, I'd tell you exactly what all there is, but I'll restrain myself and just mention: frische Brötchen!!!

I miss lots of German breakfast goodies. Nice fresh bread with Teewurst and some good strong fresh coffee were quite a good start to the day.

It's not fair! I can't cope with *both* of you bombarding me with mad links and music.

Thanks for the bath cartoon though. Very strange!

Tee hee... you started it!

It wasn't my fault that this cruel, cruel woman sent you "Jede Zelle meines Körpers"... someone sent it round at work and I felt compelled to share it with my eldest, in order to spread the joy...

Actually, I rather like the Red Hot Chili Pipers!!

There's definitely worse music! They're being advertised on TV now, so they aren't as obscure as they used to be...

(Seriously though, I love those weird German things! Keep me in mind if you ever find any good ones. )

Yikes - did she send you the one with the "Oklahoma Choo-choo"?

All right, since you asked for it... but be warned: it does not - I repeat, NOT - get any worse than this! Ever!!!!

Ready? Man or Mouse? http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=abL2cJqJY74

Not Chattanooga? The Glen Miller one? Don't think so...

Dear oh dear. That Heidi one is bad. I don't feel so ashamed about Daniel O'Donnell now if that's what Germany can produce!

I've just shared one of Belfast's dark secrets with her - Barnbrack...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=xfMtOpGcK5A

Barnbrack is better than most of the "Schlager" music we have here... MUCH better.

Off to bed now, I laughed so hard at the Heidi thing that everathing hurts now.

The Jacob Sisters are infamous, and they've been carrying those white poodles around with them since 1960! Well, I guess they bought a few fresh ones once in a while. One of the sisters died six months ago, and I hope the rest isn't planning to carry on!

A famous fashion designer (reeally weird guy) was murdered in Munich some years ago, and the Jacob sisters showed up at his funeral, poodles and all.

When Rudi Carrell, a Dutch TV star who made it big in Germany, died of lung cancer earlier this year (or was it last year?), he publicly announced that he wanted a private funeral, not a public one, "to make sure the Jacob Sisters won't show up with their poodles and ruin the atmosphere."

They remind me of a woman who lives in my street. I can see why they would lower the tone of a funeral.

Ok, sleep well. I'm going to crawl into bed too.

Tee hee. I just showed it to my poor, unsuspecting husband (who was already in bed last night, wondering why I was laughing my head off next door!)... he commented:

"In the beginning, it says 'Die Jacob Sisters' on the screen. Since the last word is in English, I prefer to read the first word in English as well!"

But there we have a dilemna. If it was their funeral, who could turn up to upstage *them* at the funeral?

What's the link to your poetry you asked Mal to send me? She's being unco-operative!

Uh oh, I hope this won't get me into trouble with her, then...

My real name is Gabriele. Just try the links. http://www.rivertext.com/busch.shtml

BTW, they had a quiz show on TV last week - the German version of "Who wants to be a Millionaire". It was a celebrity special for charities, and "one" of the celebs invited was the remaining three Jacob Sisters plus three of their poodles! They all got to answer together, but they didn't get very far at all, only to € 64.000 - and that was probably thanks to the poodles!

And no, I didn't watch it, only read about it afterwards...

I've read those pages about Busch before. I'd no idea it was yours. Small world! Did you publish your own poetry too, or is it all translation?

The Jacobs are clearly the kind of people that would turn up anywhere there's a camera, then. They'd attend the opening of a sweet wrapper?

(I'm trying to imagine Herr Wader appearing on the quiz with them. It's a slightly incongruous image...)

Well, I must admit that, no matter how hard I try to be serious once in a while, most of my poetry turns out to be of the slapstick variety. I have written satiric stuff about all of my teachers and professor, tons of limericks, a few songs... that kind of thing. But some of my Busch stuff (there is more than at that website, which is run by an acquaintance) has actually been used commercially, enough to buy everyone dinner for a week or two. And I have written a bunch of poems for young children which I hope to publish some day.

Mala said I should show you something else... somebody once challenged me to write something in verse libre, claiming that it was so much harder, and more artistic than rhyming...

...so I wrote my one and only verse libre poem for him. He though it was beautiful... hee hee hee. It is amazing how many people think that, being all dazzled by the romantic atmosphere and never grasping the true meaning... well, enjoy!


DESCENT

Soft and nurturing, the earth is around me,
Moist, brown and squishy,
Mud.

The earth has welcomed me.
First came the wind,
Pricking my face with silver needles,
Cruel.

Then down I went.
Down, down, but not forever.
The earth has welcomed me.

Then came the pain.
Rock in the mud.
The rock was hard
Just where my flesh,
My gentle flesh,
Was not.

Rock in the mud.
Me in the mud.

Eyes that shine
As a moonless night
On velvet pebbles
Right over me.

Softly smiles
My horse
A wicked smile.

The earth has welcomed me.

Thank you! It's an intriguing read. I can think of a number of possible 'true meanings'...

Which of your jobs have you enjoyed most? There's quite a bit of variety in there. (I'm not interviewing - just asking. )