A Conversation for The Alternative Writing Workshop

A4638783 - Alice's Friend

Post 1

Flame

Entry: Alice's Friend - A4638783
Author: Flameisgold - U1652413

Friendship is always important.


A4638783 - Alice's Friend

Post 2

Pdmatthew - Probably In a corner somewhere with a guitar

I liked it.

Hereto help and most definetly hinder

Paul smiley - cool


A4638783 - Alice's Friend

Post 3

Pinniped


Fine as ever, Flame.

For me, the story was ever so slightly spoiled by the realisation that my mother-in-law might well do something similar with my spouse's inheritancesmiley - biggrin

Pin


A4638783 - Alice's Friend

Post 4

Cyzaki

I can just picture it... really sad in a way, but Alice seems happy...

smiley - panda


A4638783 - Alice's Friend

Post 5

LL Waz

Thanks for the bedtime story Flame smiley - smiley.

I didn't see that twist coming at all. As Cyzacki said, it is really sad, although Alice seems happy.

Wonder if it ever does happen.


A4638783 - Alice's Friend

Post 6

Flame

Thanks everyone for your messages. smiley - smiley I'm still not entirely happy with this story, it kind of lacks something, but I can't find 'that something' at the moment. I expect I'll come back and work on it sometime in the future. But for now - on to sometime else.....

Cheers,

Flame smiley - magic


A4638783 - Alice's Friend

Post 7

Kat - From H2G2

Well...I liked this but there was something...missing? flat? I'm not quite sure. I'm also not sure what it was so all in all I'm not being very useful am I. I thought it was good writing, a good concept, but somewhere it just missed the right level by a milibit. I'll have to think about it.

Kat


A4638783 - Alice's Friend

Post 8

Flame

Thanks Kat. Maybe I'll find that missing element at a future date. I've grown tired of looking at it and decided to move away from it for a bit. Hopefully it will come to me - eventually.

Flame smiley - magic


A4638783 - Alice's Friend

Post 9

Xantief

I enjoyed it as well.

The low-key approach works very well, imho. More thoughtful and less melodramatic.

The twist at the end is superb.

Give Alice a hug for me...


A4638783 - Alice's Friend

Post 10

frontiersman

Hi Flame,
Another quite unanticipated turn in the 'plot', right up to the last paragraph or so. Absolutely perfect prose. It has become your 'trademark' in my eyes.
I managed to sort my problem with Yahoo! email. But it took some time.
Going to read your next story on the other thread now.

f.smiley - run


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