A Conversation for The Alternative Writing Workshop
A4638783 - Alice's Friend
Pdmatthew - Probably In a corner somewhere with a guitar Posted Aug 1, 2005
A4638783 - Alice's Friend
Pinniped Posted Aug 1, 2005
Fine as ever, Flame.
For me, the story was ever so slightly spoiled by the realisation that my mother-in-law might well do something similar with my spouse's inheritance
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A4638783 - Alice's Friend
LL Waz Posted Aug 1, 2005
Thanks for the bedtime story Flame .
I didn't see that twist coming at all. As Cyzacki said, it is really sad, although Alice seems happy.
Wonder if it ever does happen.
A4638783 - Alice's Friend
Flame Posted Aug 3, 2005
Thanks everyone for your messages. I'm still not entirely happy with this story, it kind of lacks something, but I can't find 'that something' at the moment. I expect I'll come back and work on it sometime in the future. But for now - on to sometime else.....
Cheers,
Flame
A4638783 - Alice's Friend
Kat - From H2G2 Posted Aug 6, 2005
Well...I liked this but there was something...missing? flat? I'm not quite sure. I'm also not sure what it was so all in all I'm not being very useful am I. I thought it was good writing, a good concept, but somewhere it just missed the right level by a milibit. I'll have to think about it.
Kat
A4638783 - Alice's Friend
Flame Posted Aug 6, 2005
Thanks Kat. Maybe I'll find that missing element at a future date. I've grown tired of looking at it and decided to move away from it for a bit. Hopefully it will come to me - eventually.
Flame
A4638783 - Alice's Friend
Xantief Posted Aug 16, 2005
I enjoyed it as well.
The low-key approach works very well, imho. More thoughtful and less melodramatic.
The twist at the end is superb.
Give Alice a hug for me...
A4638783 - Alice's Friend
frontiersman Posted Aug 16, 2005
Hi Flame,
Another quite unanticipated turn in the 'plot', right up to the last paragraph or so. Absolutely perfect prose. It has become your 'trademark' in my eyes.
I managed to sort my problem with Yahoo! email. But it took some time.
Going to read your next story on the other thread now.
f.
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A4638783 - Alice's Friend
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