h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here we are, sitting in The Guide to the Universe and does anyone look it up?

No! They go accosting strangers in market places...

I now know that a tenth pin was added after bowling with nine pins got banned for attracting a rabble.

That five-pin is a Canadian variation in which the difference is ... there are less pins.

That Leeds has three bowling alleys.

That the cans at Llandudno Bowling cost 70p.

And how to clean fish bowls.



So, which cricketer? Can he provide inspiration for four small poems?

Ah wise Waz... while the guide may (or may not) lead to enlightenment, accosting strangers in the marketplace surely has its good points, as well!

Not to be contrary, but my sources put the five-pin game in Connecticut (and even if they didn't I might claim they did just so I could type 'Connecticut').

I've never been to Leeds, but I've been to Arizona.

I don't know anything about the cost of cans at Llandudno (nor do I know what Llandudno is) but I once lived in a fishbowl, though I admit, I didn't keep it especially clean.


And is 'cricketer' really a word?




(Is it really just Ondudnall backward?)

LLLwaz,

Tell m. that Llandudno IS backward! And that Leeds
IS a dump! Leeds is just like like Arizona, a flippin' (cultural) desert!

f.
I think I'll go into hiding for a while now!

as if to prove the hippies of yore do indeed still operate according to the time-and-space laws of some distant and altered state, a pair of former flower children from among the original challengers weighs in with a joint contribution:



(air)

All that will ever . . . . . . ( a i r ) . . . . . . come between us.



(fire)

Making fire is very easy. Touch me.



(water)

Suddenly
we can swim
in life's currents.



(earth)

Together we have
a reason
for
r
o
o
t
s

ooh, a challenge, i loooove challenges!!

6.24 pm PDT

air:
"does it have a home -
my heart?"
"like the wind..."

fire:
they say sparks are created by rubbing
i wonder what they would say
if they saw us now

water:
it began and ended
like a stream around a twig
flowing

earth:
earth rising around me -
or is it just me sinking
into you?

6.32 pm PDT

~ db

cool! I can't resist a challenge, either.

your 'air' poem is a gem!

the rest, i'm afraid, are disqualified though - they surely satisfy the 'elements' criterion, but that was only half the challenge, to wit: 'compose four *ten-syllable* poems...'

i do hope you'll keep playing 'cause I love the way they're headed.

po(eti)que [-.- the multiple-personality re-order -.-]

oh. here:

fire:
stones, friction, sparks?
we make fire
like this

water:
a compact affair -
twiglike in a stream

earth:
ascending, the earth
becomes you tonight

~ db

yes!!!!

i love your 'earth' poem!

Neat idea, and some neat verse.
For those of us whose elements are baser :

air :
Your breath's making me sick.
Go clean your teeth.

fire :
It's too hot!
Keep your own side of the bed!

water :
Tell you what.
Wash your feet while you're at it.

earth :
Filthy pig!
That does it - go sleep downstairs!


(Sorry - I'll slink off and try write some proper ones)

Love wears many faces. Nowhere in the rules was it specified that these poems had to be about the dreamy, romantic, limerant or lusty love the entries to date have alluded, exuded or denuded. (Perhaps it's only fitting that we're reminded of love's 'flip' side by a seal!)

Can't wait to see your (your words) 'proper ones'!

Not that Pin's poem was in any way 'improper' as he himself suggested, but that it shows his flexibility of mind and entertainingly unorthodox approach, eh, poetique!

I thought it was a refreshing change.


f.

OK. Serious is harder. It's love's contradiction that makes poetry.
(It's *anything's* contradiction that makes poetry)

Let's try these :

air :
You make me sore.
And yet you make me soar.

fire :
Kindle my tinder
the Flint of your Heart.

water :
I'm on parade.
Rain on me anytime.

earth :
Feeling insecure?
I'm rooting for you.

(that last one's a soppy cop-out, isn't it?
I'm still thinking. I'll do better)

i *love* 'Kindle my tinder'!!!

it's fun to read. it's fun to say. it's fun to think about.

I quite liked that too.

It came to me on a mat up here.

Enjoyed reading your entry and the responses. What may be a cause for your concern is that Kipling is my favorite poet.

Your journal "What Dreadful Place is This?" was also a fun read. Diamonds and dreck.

Pinniped...
Inspiration knows no limitation!

Phred...
Thanks so much for the kind words. And let me assure you, a proclivity for the poetry of the esteemed Sahib is more a compliment than a concern! And so, for you, (with profound apologies to good Rudyard):

We have dreamed of whittling the written word to the size of trifling snit,
We have dreamed of bottling our hearts' refrains in a plum's unbroken pit,
We know that the meal consumes the man, and the poet is writ by the verse;
But the devil hoots as he walks the coals, "It's bad, but it could be worse!"


poe(tique)

Hello poetique, it's a great pleasure to offer you a congratulatory and to tell you that this entry has been selected for the <./>underguide</.>.

Particularly as it's National Poetry Day today here in the UK.

It's true. I googled to check after hearing it mentioned on Radio 4. There's poetry stuff happening all week, apparently.

Perhaps this thread might be taken up again,
now it's been woken up again .

Back to the usual business - an UnderGuide Gem Polisher will be in touch soon about any final revisions or tweakings before creating a UG copy of the entry for featuring on h2g2's front page.

Congrats again, and thank you for contributing here, and thank you for a thread.

Hi Michael, Poetique extraordinaire!

This is great news!

Congratulations!


Ron.

Just so you know poetique, you're on the front page this weekend, and probably 'til next Friday.

_And_ someone's added another Four Small Poems on the entry phred made for the challenge responses A6091823.

Some stuff too I think.

Phred, might it be an idea to include a link to poetique's UG entry on that one for the responses - to give it context for anyone who lands on that page by other routes?

(Btw, for those not in the know, one of h2g2's quirks is that you're only ever automatically subscribed to entries you create yourself. Conversations on entries you're credited on don't show up in your conversation lists. So UGed authors need to check or subscribe to their UG entries if they're interested in any messages left on them.)

Waz