h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: FEAR. - A1042804
Author: Smudger - U210712

FEAR!

Hi Smudger,

Ok a couple of things,

Firstly all guide entries should be writtien in guideML, (Dead easy, just click on the guideml button and convert document buttons when editing.


Also the sentence "As I looked round the gang I could see a couple of rookies, you could tell they were first timers, by the look in their eyes."

I found myself wondering what was the look in their eyes, perhaps their nervous glances around, timid smile or such like.


Also the paragraph that begins "They were trying to tell him that it was too dangerous to try a landing," as you were coming in to land on the rig, that was meant to be a lot of suspense, but I felt that you 'told' us on that rather than show us. I think that this paragraph would have more impact if you had things like I checked my belts, making sure they were tight, and then found something to hold on to, my knuckles were so white as a gripped so hard and I felt a rivulet of cold sweat run down my back, or something along those lines anyway.



Overall I didn't get a feeling of fear from this article, and I know that this is a factual telling of an scarey incident from the past, but there is very little tension in the piece.

These of course are just suggestions and my opinion, feel free to ignore them if you wish

for that, it was my first attempt so it was good to hear some feed back, I thought it was in Guide ML? I will try and change it
Smudger.

How the hell did we miss this? This is classic UnderGuide material.

There are a few spelling mistakes and too many 'basicly's, and it could perhaps do with a little tightening if you want to revisit it Smudger. But it is good.

Thank you for posting it.

I am only sorry it has been missed by so many for so long.

Ben

HI Ben, That story Fear is only one of many that I have written for you will see a list of them on a drop down ,menu at the bottom of my page, called Smudger Snippets.

I know it needs work, but Im not all that good at writing really. I only wish I had a better education?
Any way, thanks for your comments, and I hope you find some of the others interesting as well
Smudger,

Hi Smudger

I'll be polishing this up for inclusion with the UnderGuide.
If there's anything you'd like to change or any comments I need to consider, just let me know!

I'll post a polished version when I'm done with it, and any changes you'd like to make will be taken care of.

broe

Hi Broelan, Yep just go ahead and polish it up, no probs from me

Actually thats just one of my many Snippets that have appeared in in the past. I have no idea how it ended up in the workshop, it must have been me getting things wrong as usual

I would be chuffed to see it when youve finished .
This is my first time posting in here for a while, as Ive not been feeling too great recently, so you have boosted my moral up a bit,
Smudger,

Congratulations Smudger ! Sorry to hear you've not been so good. If this helps that great .

As Broe said, your entry has been picked and accepted for inclusion in the h2g2 UnderGuide. It'll be featured on h2g2's front page in due course and then be displayed on the shelves of the UnderGuide Archives at A2112490 and the official archives at C1233.

More information, should you want it, can be found at the <./>underguide</.> HQ.

On behalf of the UnderGuide, thank you.

Well thanks for that it has cheered me up. Ive been fighting off the effects of depression recently, and I must admit that all the support and confidence that has come from my fellow researchers on here has really helped me

Fell free to have a brouse round all the other stories on the bottom of my page, they are in a drop down menue that Shazz very kindly helped me with
I look forward to seeing mt story after its been polished up a bit
Smudger,

Despite my best intentions, I fell asleep this afternoon and took a nice little nap and thoroughly failed to get this started. I will be away from my computer for a few days, but I will come back to it next week. Sorry for the delay!

Okay, I've posted a polished copy of your entry at A3527912.

I made a couple of spelling and punctuation corrections, please take a look and make sure it meets with your approval. If I've made any changes you don't agree with, please just mention them here and I'll take care of them straight away!

I really enjoyed working on this - it has given me a glimpse of real life that I would have otherwise not had (as the extent of my knowledge of oil rigs is the movie Armageddon).

I hope you're feeling better!

Hi Broelin, I read it through and it looks a lot better than before, thanks for that.
If you ever get the time you will find a lot more of them on the bottom of my page, under Snippets.
Anyway, thanks again, its the first thing I have had published on the front page in my 2 years of being here
Smudger,

I'm glad you like it .

I'm sure I've caught your stuff in before, but since I don't keep up with it regularly I look forward to going through some of your archives .

Hi Broelan, I look forward to seeing it in the Workshop.
You will see that most of my Snippets are from past experience
Smudger,