A Conversation for The Alternative Writing Workshop
A991929 - Red Pill, Blue Pill -- Reality or "The Matrix"?
sunshine247 Started conversation Mar 9, 2003
Entry: Red Pill, Blue Pill -- Reality or "The Matrix"? - A991929
Author: sunshine247 - U220495
Hi! I'm one of Mrs.Burnham's students and as an assignment we wrote entries in the style of Adams and submit them to this website. Hopefully you will find the entry amusing and entertaining! Thank you.
A991929 - Red Pill, Blue Pill -- Reality or "The Matrix"?
J Posted Mar 9, 2003
This is pretty well written. You'll want to break it up into smaller sections though, like paragraphs
A991929 - Red Pill, Blue Pill -- Reality or "The Matrix"?
Tonsil Revenge (PG) Posted Mar 9, 2003
Where's the White Rabbit?
Go ask Alice, when she's three feet tall!
A991929 - Red Pill, Blue Pill -- Reality or "The Matrix"?
friendlywithteeth Posted Mar 9, 2003
Hey sunshine247!
I agree with Jodan: this is a good piece, but could perhaps do with a tad of editing.
A little bit of development may also make it a bit more effective i.e. the title suggests some kind of decision to be made. Perhaps you could add the pros and cons into your piece [though obviously not as just a list 
]
Please bear in mind that this is just my opinion, and you don't have to make any changes I suggest: it's a good piece 
FwT
A991929 - Red Pill, Blue Pill -- Reality or "The Matrix"?
SomeMuppet Posted Sep 19, 2003
Unfortunately sunshine hasn't posted since march
A good piece that needs a bit of work on it.
Proposed move convo
A991929 - Red Pill, Blue Pill -- Reality or "The Matrix"?
SomeMuppet Posted Sep 19, 2003
sorry move convo back to article
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A991929 - Red Pill, Blue Pill -- Reality or "The Matrix"?
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