h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: A bitter and twisted little tale. - A315677
Author: Gargoyle - U108965


Intriguing.

Structure and pace are all wrong, eventually to good effect.

Stay with it.

Hi Pin,

Now, Gargoyle's really is a good tale.

And it is, surprisingly, a credible senario! There are such mentally bitter and twisted individuals who openly 'target' people and seek to destroy them socially or professionally for no apparent or logical reason.

This is reasonably well written, with the odd typo.

So, are you saying that its structure and pace should remain unrevised, being as they ultimately 'pay off'?

Do you propose to put this forward for the Underguide by posting it back into circulation?

I found it really enjoyable. And worryingly credible.

Hi Ron

No, I wouldn't want to see the pace and/or structure altered. Those things are chosen by the writer.

What interested me here is that the weaknesses of the piece eventually become its strengths. It meanders along in an inconsequential way, almost persuading the reader that there's nothing worth waiting for, then hits him with a disturbing ending.

That ending made me feel empty. I wonder whether the rest of the piece set that up. If it had been pacier, would I have felt shock, perhaps?

(Pig+Slag for the UnderGuide aspects, why not?)

Pin

Gargoyle, you don't seem to be around any more but in case you return I'll leave the champagne on ice here, , for a very disconcerting and effective entry whose qualities got it selected for the <./>underguide</.>.

Being selected for the <./>underguide</.>, UG for short, means that a UG copy will be made of it to be featured on h2g2's Front Page shortly, after which it will be added to the UG archive of selected gems (A1007876).

Congratulations again, and here's hoping that you see this message one day .