h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

1 Deep fried Mars bar please.

You forgot to add that while blokes get a glasgow kiss girls invariably get some drunken tramp old enough to be their dad lecturing them/chatting them up. They think they are so eloquent. We think 'you are tedious and smell of wee'. There is a large debate as to which is worse.

Deep Fried mars bars were - as everybody knows - invented (or should that be created) in Stonehaven, and have rapidly become a favorite of colesterol junkies everywhere.

Deep fried Mars Bars? No kidding? I remember Iron Bru and busses that take umbrage at the suggestion of stopping; but deep fried Mars Bars? Wow!

Deep fried pizzas too.

You can actually feel your blood thickening as you eat them! It's incredible!

1) Have you thought that it may be your dad and you're just too wrecked to notice?
2) Smelling of wee is perfectly natural. What is the attraction in spraying yourself with hydrocarbons tinctured with dead flowers?
3) Don't I know you from somewhere

Actually I just use sandalwood and baking soda and I don't think smelling of wee is natural unless you pee your pants and don't wash

Sandalwood? You like to smell of sweaty footwear that it's impossible to hide Odoreaters in?
Now there's an idea, the next time you're in a pub and approached by a geriatric smelling of wee, give him a pair of incontinence pants lined with Odoreaters, Glade Plug-ins (obviously with extension cable), itching powder, etc. Problem solved (unless it's an MP, you'll have inadvertantly made a friend for life).
Move over Dr. Ruth

Then, of course there is pakora. Sort of deep-fried everything really. My current favorite's include, banana, haggisand the ever present squid rings. I believe pakora is a particularly Scottish thing. Anyone know?

I have no idea what the historical origin of the pakora is, but you're right that it does seem to have found it's spiritual home in Glasgow. The best I have had are from Mother India in the West End, but there's plenty of quality out there.
Myself, I am looking forward to the yuletide tradition of deep-fried Christmas Pudding. Yes, I AM serious.

I've heard of deep fried christmas pud; though I've not tried it... yet. Haggis pakora sounds a treat!

JTG

Fried clooty dumpling rocks!

Well, it sort of just sits there and makes your gut feel as if it's full of rocks, but it tastes great!

I can't get a decent bag of pakora down here in Dumfries, which is a bugger, but at least we have a kebab shop.

I must get back up to town for a curry one night soon.

Last time I had deep fried clooty dumpling would have been Ne'er Day. I was dragged screaming out of my pit at somewhere around eleven in the morning and presented with dumpling and scambled egg. It was superb.

I would recommend Murphy's Pakora Bar for Pakora and The Ashoka on Ashton Lane for curry.
Mind you, pakora out of the Koh-i-noor is particularly fine straight from the pub. Damn, I'm hungry now.

Murphy's Pakora Bar?

That's never an Irish theme takeaway is it?

Does anyone know if Murphy Bros are still in Oswald Street? they did the most excellent steak pies. Lovely thick gravy, BIG lumps of, well, meat. And they were fairly cheap too.

Go on, if you're down that end of town pop round and have two. Three is way too much and ones not enough.

Mmmmmm

Now I'M hungry too!

Other than serving Murphy's, I wouldn't have said it was particularly Irish Themed. No Shamrocks on the wall or any of that Jazz.

The Banana Pakora is pretty good too.

But then again - who wants skinny blood?

Mmmmmm ... chille pakora from the Ashoka ... pure Hank Marvin!

An Irish takeaway? Is this the traditional Glasgow pub, where the clientele eat before entering the premises, quaff large amounts of liquid and proceed to deposit their deep fried whatevers on the floor/table/customers/all of the above?

I've been thinking about skinny blood. (I know it's been a year, but I think very slowly.) Fat or thin, we should all be at ease with the way our blood flows. Skinny blood has it's advantages, it's easier to carry for example. But fat blood just shows up your veins, making your head look massive. In fact I conclude that Skinny blood is the best thing to have! You know, there might be an article in this...