h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Grumpy Rant - A53288940
Author: Beatrice. Make tea, not war. - U190170

Rant: A country dance of the jig variety in binary form and duple metre, from the Scottish lowlands and northern England. Surviving examples date from the 17th and 18th centuries.

I've interpreted the duple metre as rhyming couplets.

And especially for Danny B, here's the Oyster Woman's rant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eVt4K-QNN8&feature=PlayList&p=0048F126F64EBB52&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=16

Very funny.

I liked the rhyme with 'Clapham'.

So women are from Venus, and men are right-wing?

He certainly grumps to the beat

This sounds pretty authentic!

The scansion is a bit uneven and some of the rhymes are outrageous - I wondered what you were going to rhyme with bankers!
But this is doubtless part of the fun.

I was going for a hybrid of Alf Garnett and William McGonagall...

Ms GB

I'm a tad confused - there's probably isn't a single man who would endorse all these statements, and some of them are from the perspective of a tabloid newspaper rather than a man per se. Do you really think that little of men?

there's --> there

You've hit upon one of the problems that I had with this challenge: I despise gender stereotyping. I know women motorcyclists who down pints with the best of them, and male ballet dancers who are into flower arranging. So I found it impossible to write something from a generic male point of view (that could have been a guide entry) and instead went for AWW, with a few particular male curmudgeons in mind as inspiration.

No, I do not for one minute believe that all men think this way.

You're right, Bea - none of that has anything to do with gender, anyway.

We're a little more varied as a species than that.

Somewhere in the Pacific, there are two islands, side by side.

On one, men fish, and women weave baskets. This is the way it is supposed to be.

On the other, women fish, and men weave baskets. This is also the way it is supposed to be.

Just double checked the wording in the challenge: submit something from A male perspective ( not THE male perspective)

So there. Specific rather than panoptic.

Point taken.

It didn't have to be human, either

Anyhoo, I know plenty of grumpy women

GB

The non-human aspect had occurred...I refuse to repeat the suggestion I got from another Researcher, other than that it involved a beehive...

ooh, do I get one guess who that was? Life as a Queen Bee has a certain appeal

Very entertaining, Bea!

Perhaps you should add a disclaimer - "The views represented here are not those of the author, the BBC, or the nice sort of men who hang around h2g2"

And thanks for the 'oyster' link - I though it started well but went on a bit. And I didn't really see what it had to do with oysters...

I like the disclaimer idea - thanks Danny!