h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi! This is my first attempt at a guide entry - as you can tell I spend a lot of time on train platforms... There is a lot in the Guide about the London Underground, but very little about the main line railways, so I thought I'd try to contribute. Take a look and tell me what you think I could do to improve it!

http://www.h2g2.com/A479973

small typo: frequncy

I love it! Announcements seem to be the same everywhere in the world.
Do they only allow people with harelips into these jobs?

$0.02

I don't remember mister harelip; the voice used to be that of a rather nice Watch with Mother type lady, who filled travellers with a warm sense of confidence that things were working out for the best, whether they happened to be on the wrong train or not. But that was the olden days... or perhaps a dream.

You may find that train spotters and sundry rail enthusiasts object to the negative tone, and point to your submission as being very subjective. If you could broaden your description of the hypothetical bewilderment of the tannoy audience, I think your submission would ring true for many more readers.

JTG

Thanks for the advice - I know the article sounds a bit negative, that probably stems from the amount of disruption there has been to the trains lately! But I really to appreciate the announcer - once when I was very drunk I sat there on the train for the whole journey saying stations over and over in that voice... I guess I was the person you DON'T want to be sitting next to!

The problem is that announcers who are clever, witty, and make you happy invariably get fired. Like the guy who informed me that "This train will be leaving 15 minutes late. The person who was supposed to be driving this train is not here because the train he normally catches from home to get here has been cancelled." Well, it made me laugh ;-) There was a discussion on the london underground entry that is relevant to this one: http://www.h2g2.com/F6571?thread=14269 and http://www.h2g2.com/F6571?thread=15473

Um... There's no such thing as British Rail any more! Perhaps it could be renamed 'Tannoy announcements at Rail Stations' or something similar.
Although I must say, I like the article.
I did think of one or two extensions:
1) Announcements *on* the train - are there differences between the various networks? (other than accents) What about announcements for the buffet car?
2) Message boards - both on the platform and on the train. On the platform, why does it never show the train you're waiting for until it's too late? Why is the train still 'on time' when it's not arrived five minutes after it's due? On the train, there are sometimes scrolling text boards, showing where the train is going. These have very similar effects to those of the repeated announcements.

Dr St J

Can I just check that you do know for certain that this voice is used in most of Britain? Most of the announcements I hear here in Scotland are recorded by a rather prim, sharp woman with ideas above her station (har har). From the looks of your examples you're using stations ina very specific area - would you consider either a bit more research (You could post a question at "Ask...") or renaming the entry "railway announcements in the X area" sort of thing...

Good idea for an entry - hope it grows and prospers!

Biohazard doesn't seem to have survived Dark Rupert , so I'd suggest this one be moved over to the Writing Workshop

I happen to agree with Bossel on this one. Would any Scout care to second me?

What's a Dark Rupert, and why would someone not survive one? Is it a type of Collapsing Hrung Incident?

I *like* this little entry. It's too bad s/he seems to have abandoned ship. The same chap does railway station announcements in the States, too, or a slightly Americanised cousin, except at Kennedy International Airport in New York City, where all announcements are made in a local dialect so thick that no 'English' speaking person would recognise it at all.

Those of you of an age with me (40ish), did you have Film Strip Man in Primary School in the UK? Film Strip Man seems to have done every film strip ever produced in the US, on every subject. When they stopped making film strips, he retired to a job at Union Station, in Boston Mass, announcing trains in the same inflection as every film strip I ever saw. He has relatives everywhere. New Delhi Aeroport. Everywhere.

Arpeggio, for LeKZ

Seconded. This one should certainly have the chance to make it into the guide.

J

Arpeggio - "Rupert" is the name people gave to the h2g2 period while it was closed down before the BBC took it over...

Don't worry, I did survive!
I have just been very busy revising for my A-Levels so haven't had enough time to donate energy to the Guide...
I will be back in action soon though

Thanks for the encouragement guys!

You could also join forces with the entry about British Trains (http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A554753 , with a Peer Review thread at http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F48874&thread=124779

Bossel (Scout)

Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'The Writing Workshop' to 'The Flea Market'.

The author appears to have 'left the building'...

This Entry is listed in the Flea Market as A598070 Home Schooling
Please remove.

.. oh, and it appeares again in the lsit with its real name.

A479973 - British Rail Public Address System Announcements

As someone who used to travel to work by train every day before I started cycling, I definitely recognise the truth in this one.
It would need a bit of polish and the title changed (tannoy is a trademark), but I'd like to keep this in the Flea Market.

<BB<

ok

... and I originally meant the link via 'Home Schooling' should be removed