h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Cut out your legs, they weigh 10 pounds each.
I want a better TV set.

A courier arrives with a state-of-the-art home entertainment system including Sky subscription package and a plasma widescreen TV, set in concrete (TV set...). It's there; but you can't get to it.

I want more space in my bedroom.

Now the whole space is in your bedroom.
I want those HHGTTG eastereggs to work!

Well they work, they looked lovely from the outside but turned out to be really dissapointing


Can I wish for an everlasting bottle of red wine

Now you have. Each time you drink some wine, you lose an equal amount of bllod, which is transformed into low-quality wine and beamed into the bottle.
I wish for another two wishes.

bllod=blood

Your wish for two more wishes is granted.

Unfortunately the two wishes can only be taken posthumously.



I wish I could meet David Bowie

Do you believe in a life after death? Good... Well, I´ll kill you. Perhaps you´ll see him somewhen after death.
I want some apple juice.

granted the vat I dropped on your head should do nicely

I wish that people would stop thinking of stupid wishes

Granted - everyone unsubs, leaving you alone!

I wish I could join in again

Wow, that last wish really did come true!

it's been so quiet here for so long.


Malabarista, you can join in again if anyone comes back

I wish I could join again too

You both join in again causing massive server overload and many error messages.

I wish I could have something for breakfast without actually making anything.

the paper boy turns up, launches the paper in your direction. it lands *smack* in your mouth. a voila - breakfast

Wish you made a wish taz

Taz made a wish. Unfortunately she wished that you had two heads, three eyes and no feet leaving you no choice but to become a sideshow act.

I wish I wasn't awake so early!

You are now unable to fall asleep - ever. This means it'll never be early for you again as every waking hour (which will literally BE every waking hour) will be early.



I wish the world would be a nicer place to live in.

seeing as it's people that make the world not-so-nice, everyone disappears with a *pop* leaving you utterly alone.



i wish i'd amde a wish too

Granted. You made a wish, but promptly forgot what it was that you wished for.

I wish I could breath pudding.

Your wish is automatically corrupted as you could always breathe, dumpling!

I wish I could remove the first four sentences from every book ever written.

You do and subsequently erase the copyright schpeil at the beggining of every book. woops.




i wish for a large pineapple