h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Can you still balance on the barstool?
Haven't you had enough to drink already?
Should I call you a cab?

Please accept my congratulations as well, won't you, Granny?

How'd you like the F. Dr. P, ox? Too hot?

Doesn't ox look like Bob Geldof after he shaved his eyebrows (among other things) in "Pink Floyd's The Wall"?

Does anyone else think that movie could've been much better if it'd followed the lp more closely (like, exactly)?

Do you like Pink Floyd? Still? Who mentioned toasts, why's my glass empty?

Do I get a discount?

Is that a cheeky nobleman?

Should I wear a fire-proof mask for that next drink?

Doesn't the risk involved make it more exciting?

Whatdyamean, STILL? Should I be offended?
Bartender? Where's my drink?

Is the barman on the dark side of the moon? Will he fetch some ice back? Will Paladin forgive me?

Did you not know that there is no dark side of the moon and that if you take into account eclipses, the 'dark side' is actually lighter?

If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound? When is the next eclipse? Why is it then lighter? If Pink Floyd is in the forest during an eclipse, do THEY make a sound?

Where IS the bartender?

Would I want to hear Pink Floyd? Should we help ourselves toa little drink? Should that be a big drink?

Who's hidden my Metallica tee shirt?

If Pink Floyd falls in a forest, is it because Roger Waters quit and sued the band?

Come to think of it, isn't Bob Geldof Pink Floyd?

Do you have any illegal substances to ingest as you listen to Pink Floyd?

(I've never done any while listening, but) is it true they make the music better?

And has anyone watched The Wizard of Oz and listened to Dark Side of the Moon simultaneously to see if they really do compliment each other?

Would I be so cruel to my neighbours? Has anyone found either the barman or my Metallica tee shirt yet?

What do you think this old hippy ingested while listening to much music?

Don't you see how it's taken the bulk of my adult life to unbend the gnarled kinks left by such doings?

Can I have a drink to wash the dust of the years down with, please?

Would a drink get rid of cobwebs? Can't anyone pour me a drink or find my tee shirt?

Don't you think that a drink would help one not care about the cobwebs?

Why can't I find my tee shirt? Am I not in the middle of packing?

Have you thought about this from your T-shirt's point of view?
If you're desperate for a drink don't you think it might be thirsty too?
Have you looked in the drinks cabinet?

Guess who had my tee shirt?

Do you think I shouldn't have threatened to wear it to his wedding?

Is he not a son of mine?

What is this world coming to ?
Should a simple threat to embarrass one's offspring on their wedding day really turn said child into a clothing thief?
Does he have any better T-shirts you could wear instead?