h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Ishtar and Baldrick appear, pushing a heavily laden trolley. On it the guests can see:

a large sherry trifle...a vegan carrot cake...a delicious looking bowl of fresh fruit salad....a couple of hot homemade apple pies....a large lump of stilton....a nice runny brie and a huge hunk of extra mature cheddar.....a platter of black and green grapes.....a jug of celery.......and a large selection of assorted biscuits....butter...vegan spread....and a slab of 'blow me I'd never have guessed that wasn't butter'..... *

Oh look at all those sweeties, Sweety... ~grin~

In case you're wondering, it was my idea! She just made it!
*in attempt to allay fears about ingredients*

*helps himself to the sherry trifle*
Splendid. What's everyone else having?

Ohh! Vegan carrot cake - wonderful! Thank you soooo much, dahling!

*Peers suspiciously at the chocolate hundreds and thousands on the top of her cake and glares suspiciously at Baldrick*

I think I'll have a drink first. *Locates Coely and produces a very long stray from her handbag*

Don't worry, it's not what you think! Honest!

*Produces a straw and throws the stray out the nearest window*

*cuts slice of carrot cake and presents it to Gwennie*

Anything else Ma'am?

*Gracefully accepts the straw as a replacement for her "stray" typo*

Why thank you, Menza! *Scoffs the cake, but leaves the chocolate crunchy bits* Another slice would go down a treat, please.

Certainly Ma'am.

*cuts another slice of cake, and passes it to Gwennie*

i think i missed an entire course. if we are now eating dessert, can i have the apple pie.

*cuts slice from an apple pie and places it on a plate, then infront of Wagtail*

Here you are Ma'am.

Oh, apologies... I thought we had been allocated an entire dessert each.
*sheepishly hands back the empty trifle bowl*

Thats alright Sir, I'll fetch another from the kitchen.

Oh no, there's no need - I'm full, don't you know.

But Sir isn't thinking of the other guests.

No, sir is thinking of a rather unpleasant scene from Monty Python's Meaning Of Life...

*bows at Sirs wisdom*

*waves fins at Butler Menza*
Ooohh, I say, Gar - con. We seem to have lost a lot of the male guests somewhere. Dr E V is here for the trifle, but have the others slumped under the table? Dr John has not been seen since he took up with a penguin, and Babel-17 stomped off clutching his furry purse, muttering about having to powder something.
Or have they all retired somewhere for port and cigars?

I am sorry to say that I have no idea Ma'am, I shall go and enquire.

Wot no banoffee pie?