h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Beer. - A27073352
Author: virtualmemory - U7629425

This isn't quite fiction.

I've no time just now to say more than that's Beer alright, and that I thoroughly enjoyed the read.

Many thanks for the lunchbreak entertainment,

Waz

CDL - what does that stand for ?

Interesting read, thanks for sharing.

Can you change the 'it's' in last para to 'its' please.

Thanks, great read.

Very vivid, those folks.

Commercial Driver's License or Chauffeur's Driver's License depending on the state. It means you can drive a commercial vehicle. Please don't get me on the apostrophes.....
Thanks for your comment.

Actually I don't think I can change the nefarious 'it's'. Pardon me while I cringe. I could consult 'help' I suppose. Or perhaps you would know...........

Thank you very much for the CDL explanation.

Sorry, I didn't mean to get you on the apostrophe thing. It was the one blemish on a well written narrative.

You can make changes, but, I don't know how.

Hi virtualmemory - meant to post this before, sorry.

Either click on the little pencil image by the title of the entry where it's listed on your home-space, or open the entry itself and you should see an 'Edit Entry' link up on the top right side. Click on that and your text is editable.

Wonderful, natural dialogue

I like the way this evokes a mood, a place, a more-or-less random gathering of people.

I found it difficult to work out who was speaking on the first read. It repays a second reading.

I noticed that 'Beer' had been banned for offensive language I guess. Well, too bad. Hey! I'm an ARTIST! How can I dismantle the delicate mesh of word sequences that I so painstakingly created? What are they asking?

I agree about all that choppy dialog at the beginning. I was attempting to create the awkward interactions of the scene without using too many 'said' and 'answered's.

Thanks. I think I fixed it. Did you consider the language offensive?

Me, no. In this context, definitely not.

I didn't notice the entry had been referred. That can happen automatically. The BBC brought in a 'Profanity Filter' that looks for certain words and then refers articles to the moderators. The list of words changes, depending on what's getting complained about most is my guess.

The mods don't always take context into account, they tend to be a bit automatic as well. The h2g2 editors, if appealed to can do. But dealing with complaints takes time and time costs... etc.

If the entry fails again, you could try asterisks. Any grown-up will know what you mean, and you write for grown-ups.

i enjoyed that. the canadian girls could hook up with the wwodsmen? or something could happen to john's guitar?

exellent.

There's good news and bad news. Good news is the UnderGuide miners think this is an entry that deserves to go into the UnderGuide and they have the sense to recognise when strong language is offensive and when its not.

The bad news is that the BBC, being publicly funded, listens to those who don't have that sense. So although we want to feature this, we can't give it a front page link without further changes to the language.

There's two choices - have a go at fitting into the Beeb's Editorial guidelines, or say this is it as it stands, in which case we'd give it a place of honour in the UnderGuide's Under the Counter archive but not front page it.

Let us know what you think virtual memory, and we'll take it from there.


Meanwhile, here's the UnderGuide's QA's comments:


"General Comments :
All four of November’s selected UG Entries are high quality. These will all delight our readers.

Beer: Crisp dialogue and characterisation makes this a very worthwhile read. In one sense, it’s a bit of an exhibition piece, because it doesn’t offer much by way of plot. There’s a message, though, because the shallowness and transience of the relationships pervades the writing. Mike is both an effective centre and a convincing character, with his mood-shifts from impatience to apathy. Though it’s a longish piece, there’s little fat on it and the descriptive prose, where it appears, is evocative. You’re left with the feeling that you’d like to read the rest of the book that it seems to come from."

Thanks for submitting it. It was an experience to read.
UGeds

Thanks for kind words. Perhaps I'll try to build it into a novel! If you point me to the beeb guidelines I could see if I could conform without prostituting my art, so to speak. Actually if you have any suggestions I might take them, as you are the experts......

Hi, sorry for the delay. I did type out a post but the PC froze on me, I lost it and didn't have time to re-write. Till now.

I wish we were experts, and that it was our decision.

The BBC's problem is it can't impose a watershed on the internet. And it regards h2g2 as a site likely to attract youngsters. Hence -> http://www.bbc.co.uk/guidelines/editorialguidelines/edguide/harm/language.shtml "We must not include offensive language ... unless it is justified by the context and then its frequent use must be avoided."

Defining offensive language is a real problem. I don't regard any of the language in your entry as offensive in the context you've put it, btw. But the BBC is more leary of complaints and they don't seem to regard h2g2 content as something where they wish to spend resources defending things on the grounds of context. Though to do them credit, there have been exceptions.

There is some help on what's going to cause problems language-wise here http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/hub/A1017839 that's never guaranteed as a complete list however. A complete list is not available.

My suggestion is you see what you're comfortable changing, using that list as a guide to what needs changing, and see how it feels. We can refer a revised version to the h2g2 staff if that's the way it does go.

Asterisking complete words is one option, though not necessarily a solution if it's plain what the word is. Do you have any local/colloquial words that would fit naturally and not trouble the BBC's sensibilities? Because that might work for both sides.

Hope we can a way, though I wish we didn't have to,
UGed (Waz)

Well, I took out the naughty words. Left in 'bastard' and one 'damn'. Not quite what it was, but I didn't want to use fill-in-the-blanks asterisks as they disrupt the flow. I hope this is OK.
Thanks for taking the time.

You're welcome. Just sorry to have needed to ask you to edit.

We'll run this version by the h2g2 Eds (once they're back from the New Year break). I suspect they won't like 'bastard', but let's see. It's a shame to take out any of the words. As you say, it's not the same, it's not got quite the edge. But it still has a lot.

Did you keep a copy of the original? Because if you did, I'd suggest that once we've created the UnderGuide copy, you reinstate the original in this entry. Then both will be on site.
UGeds