h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'll serve up red cabbage instead
With toasted pumpernickel bread
At least it is healthy

I'll serve up red cabbage instead
With toasted pumpernickel bread
At least it is healthy
And not just for the wealthy

I'll serve up red cabbage instead
With toasted pumpernickel bread
At least it is healthy
And not just for the wealthy
Now, what shall we do when we've fed?


<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

A Tesco's assistant named Giles

I'll serve up red cabbage instead
With toasted pumpernickel bread
At least it is healthy
And not just for the wealthy
And it won't make you feel overfed.


The grass is looking lush and green

A Tesco's assistant named Giles,
Who made love in one of the aisles

What's this W? B.O.G.O.F day????


The grass is looking lush and green
But on mowing it I'm not too keen





A Tesco's assistant named Giles,
Who made love in one of the aisles
With an organic chook

The grass is looking lush and green
But on mowing it I'm not too keen
It's got to be done



A Tesco's assistant named Giles,
Who made love in one of the aisles
With an organic chook
Which he sadly mistook

The grass is looking lush and green
But on mowing it I'm not too keen
It's got to be done
It won't be much fun



A Tesco's assistant named Giles,
Who made love in one of the aisles
With an organic chook
Which he sadly mistook
For a spotty adolescent called Miles

The grass is looking lush and green
But on mowing it I'm not too keen
It's got to be done
It won't be much fun
But it's part of the Springtime routine.


I love the smell of new-mown grass

I love the smell of new-mown grass
But smoking it is such a farce

I love the smell of new-mown grass
But smoking it is such a farce
The fag paper's damp

I love the smell of new-mown grass
But smoking it is such a farce
The fag paper's damp
And you feel like a tramp

I love the smell of new-mown grass
But smoking it is such a farce
The fag paper's damp
And you feel like a tramp
Stick to smelling - it's got much more class!



""""""""""""""""""""""""""""


The day my computer broke down

The day my computer broke down
My psychiatrist charged half a crown

The day my computer broke down
My psychiatrist charged half a crown
He de-fragged my subconcious

(half-a-crown!? Age showing a bit!!)



The day my computer broke down
My psychiatrist charged half a crown
He de-fragged my subconcious
Played me Elgar's "Gerontius"

Yes, It'd be more like three shillings and sixpence ha'penny these days



The day my computer broke down
My psychiatrist charged half a crown
He de-fragged my subconcious
Played me Elgar's "Gerontius"
Whilst he was fumbling under my gown

Whoops! missed the new line


(said with a rural accent)

It were all so much better in my day

[loved the factoring in of inflation, Th3!]


It were all so much better in my day
Aye, 'n 't paper were nobbut a penny to pay

It were all so much better in my day
Aye, 'n 't paper were nobbut a penny to pay
Well, we had it tough