h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Octopodes is good though. I think the plural of platypus is platypodes. A good one for anagrams and scrabble.

Are you going to insult him?

What's the greek for "two"? Duopodes? Dypodes?

Ach, where are the classical scholars when you need them?

that 2legs. He's so normal he's verging on Ordinary.

There, that should do it


(that's the closest I can get to dusting off my hands with a big blow as if to say 'job did!')

He he he he he he he.

Old Gipsy curse:

'May you never find a home'




GT

A few roos short in the top paddock.

Possibly a good one for our very own 2legs ...

or perhaps, more appropriately

A few badgers short in the sett.

These non-PC ones were pre-censored by me.

We used to be able to call people s**s**c or S****a.
That became Spanner, or spooner. And pre-pc you could call someone a F**d. Or a m**g. Or a J**y (thank Blue Peter for that).

Now we make do with git, goit, goon, prat, pranny, nob, nobhead, nobjockey. Theres always c**t or w**k*r I guess.

Regional insults always seem to be about the North/South divide
"You're a frilly knickered ballet dancing soft Southern BEEP".

Or homosexual orientation ones - "You smoke bloke, you stroke bloke and you choke bloke".
Bloke Smoker is pretty tame on the scale to be honest.

Re:- Divvie, we had dippen which was usually short for dip shit.
I was trying to remember some military ones but their all obscene

Personally when I worked in a call centre and was on a call if I felt the need to swear I'd do it in Klingon. 99% of callers were blissfully clueless.

an old-fashioned insult is 'bounder'

My friend who has a young child has started to habitually substitute f**k with 'penguin'...

I worked off incipient road rage with 'clown' and 'what an artist' (!) when my son was younger, 'camel' being reserved for the worst idiots.

<>

How dare she. I object!

Now I'm sure I've told someone on hootoo this before, but here goes again

A friend of uni friend (yeah, yeah, I know) wanted her little girl to always be sweet, so she taught her to say "I want to go pick little flowers" when she had to use the toilet.

This all went well until one day in the café. The kid kept telling her mother "I want to go pick flowers!" and tugging her sleeve, but mummy just kept brushing her off - "Yes, yes, in a minute!" because they were deep in conversation...

Until the kid stood up on her chair and yelled so loudly the whole café could hear "Mummy, I don't just want to pick flowers, I have to poo, too!"

In terms of animals,

'He was like a rabbit/deer caught in the car headlights'

Can't see the penguin term catching on in the school playground. Hope the kid doesn't get laughed at too much at school.

it's a 'save the child's innocence' thing, her child is under two still

Well its a bizarre connection between a penguin and a cluck..might lead to some bizarre weirdnesses in later life?

But it's a difficult one about kids learning when, and when its not appropriate to swear like troupers. That's the important thing.

Mind you penguins are very upright and thrusting in appearance.

Dialog between my mom and me...

"Who did you learn THAT word from?"

"Daddy is repairing the car"

Question answered.

I think i was about three when I learned there are some words that are only used by adults in certain instances. I think that was my first conscious awareness of context