h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You can find two concept pictures for the movie at:
http://www.corona.bc.ca/films/details/hitchhikersguide.html
You have to scroll down a bit to see the pics, one is of the guide and the other of Marvin.

But on a sadder note, at exactly 2:08 PST time, I have officially declared h2g2.com as dead . Usually vibrant and bustling forums have slowed down to a stand still just like the dying arteries of any person. And not even my ramblings about monkeys have been able to revive it. Perhaps someday it will be restored like the proverbial phoenix rising out of the ashes (I just said that cuz it sounded perty). The funeral will be held Friday, and the will shall be read soon after as according to h2g2.com's last wishes.

I am afraid that according to the scifi-wire (the place that told me about the h2g2 pictures in the first place) it has been reported that douglas adams vigorously denies that the pictures I linked to are genuine.

I'm not dead!! And it seems to me that neither is anyone else I've been talking to lately... Where were you talking about monkeys? I'm sorry if that killed someone... Please ignore me... I'm just passing through...

Oh no! H2G2 finally died! It wasn't even one year old! I'll give the eulogy!


H2G2 was a great site. It was always bursting with energy and wonderful people and places. We will dearly miss our drinks at the Forum and Firkin, our coffee from the Aroma Café, our doughnuts from Joanna, Peta's Picks, the ACEs, and everything else that made up h2g2. It is truly a shame it had to go so soon, for the parade hadn't occured, and we still have yet to get through the pile of Entries that were submitted. Never again will we wake up early Monday morning to read the H2G2 POST. Never again will we tell the world what a horrible day we had in our journal. We will never be able to add our name to yet another H2G2 society or get a post to our page! God bless you h2g2, and may you rest in peace.


*Cries*

Well I said monkey's in the title because I wanted a response, and monkey's attract researchers like, ummm... monkeys! Nice to see that the Eulogy has been written but the body won't be laid to rest until Friday. After that we can read the will and collect all the money! Ha Ha Ha Ha, ahhh, huh

Yes, monkeys must be magical since they ALWAYS get response.

What? Sorry I wasn't paying attention and then I suddenly heard the word monkey.
Monkeys: The Other White Meat, or
Ahhh, the Power of Monkeys

MONKEY MONKEY MONKEY MONKEY MONKEY.



Lucas

Monkeys are cool in concept but if you have ever been anywhere near them then they are creepy. I once was an extra in something and was stuck with an orangutan who wouldn't let go of my hand. So make sure not to go through with any monkey based purchases.

Actually, I just pictured a bunch of monkeys in the h2g2 movie. That wouldn't be too bad, actually...

Here, A friend sent this to me in an email:
I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece.

I thought this was odd since
they are normally a couple thousand apiece.

I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of them.


I like monkeys.


I took my 200 monkeys home.
I have a big car.

I let one of them drive.
His name was Sigmund.

He was retarded.

In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in
the genitals.

I laughed.

They punched me in the genitals.

I stopped laughing.


When I got home, I herded them into my room. They didn't adept very well
to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the
couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:

they all died.

No apparent reason.

They all just sort of dropped dead.
Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.

God
damn
cheap
monkeys.


I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my
room;

on the bed,

in the dresser,

Hanging from my bookcase.

It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.


I tried to flush one down the toilet.

It didn't work.

It got stuck.


Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry
monkeys.

I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals.


That worked for a while,
that is,
until they began to decompose.

It started to smell real bad.


I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and
I didn't want to call a plumber.

I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.
Unfortunately there was only enough room for two at a time,
so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food
in
the freezer so it didn't go bad.


I tried to burn them,
but little did I know that my bed was flammable.

I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on
my bed, and
The odor wasn't improving.


I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and
I really had to use the bathroom.


So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys.

I felt better.


I tried throwing them away,

But the garbage man said the city
was not allowed to dispose of charred primates.

I told him I had a wet one.

He couldn't take it either.


I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.


I finally arrived at a solution:

I gave them out as Christmas gifts.

My friends didn't quite know what to say.

They pretended to like
them, but I could tell they were lying.

Ingrates.

So I punched them in the genitals.


God, I like monkeys.

right. that about covers it then, doesn't it? what with the genitals, monkeys, dead monkeys, bargain monkeys, abuse of plumbing and all of it. it's just complete.

no point in my mentioning anything real or positive about monkeys now. not that i have anything positive to mention. but still. how about if we went off on a tangent about.... small rodents, or marsupials? i'm kind of just searching here because if it's only primates that get the interest, i'll know more than i really care. but if other mammals can get a response, then, well......uh...... well.....

can't you people come up with something to go off on besides mammals, after all? it's not like they are prevalent or ubiquitous or anything. i mean, really. talk about egocentric and condescending simultaneously. see? there's something to talk about besides just sacks of warm meat moping around and using up oxygen, eating shoots and bugs....

is it the whole mountain gorilla/dian fossey thing? really?

well then, why does it say that the darn things are "our" closest relatives? whose the closest? and is a typo and really meant to say "our" relatives?

Now don't go dissing monkey's. In theory they are really cool but as I wrote above you really don't wanna be stuck with one that won't let go of your hand (I still wake up screaming). Besides, as you can tell by the title, we are not focusing on Monkey's. We are talking about the Douglas Adam's movie and since no one replied to any posts I made for a week I declared h2g2.com dead and we are preparing for the funeral.

Why does no one ever tell me these things? 2 days ago h2g2.com died now as I average about 60 posts every 24 hours that mean my last 120 posts have been to nothing, the SUBs haven't got around to eediting 10 of my entries, Birmingham and Liverpool weren't approved and I won't be opening Mama Peta's Restaurante on friday.

Why doe s no one ever tell me these things?

DD Going to dry clean his black funeral suit.

As the person who found the body I will be setting up some parts of the funeral. Now the really important question is, should we have mini hot-dogs or just cheese sticks?

I have been going over our budget for the funeral which amounts to 3 toe nails and a jar of lint (which I cannot find at this time). So I have decided to purchase the only coffin we can afford. It is unfinished (which saves a lot) and is a bit of a tight fit for a huge online service that serves thousands but I think we can break H2G2.com's legs backward to get it to fit, or just slice them up. A picture of the coffin can be seen here:
http://www.westerncoffins.net/images/opencffn02.jpg
And since we will still have spent all our money on this cheepo coffin I can't afford a funeral plot and thus I suggest we meet at midnight friday by the river and .... Ker splash!

What I'd really like to know is exactly how H2G2 died. Frankly, I'm beginning to think foul play followed by a cover-up. First the death announcement was made, and then... the body gets stuffed in the coffin. Am I the only one who thinks this is fishy?

Before you call me a crackpot conspiracy theorist, check out all that evil laughter coming from Siguy. Now, I must get back to my underlined copy of Catcher in the Rye.

If you read the place you link to, you'll see that the pictures were confirmed to be right out of the Illustrated Guide and nothing to do with the film. Also, oddly enough, this site has an "unknown" for something that is quite well known, that being the production company, Spyglass Pictures. This was announced publically a long time ago and is further confirmed by the producer being Roger Birnbaum. The rest of the info there seems more or less correct, although it's not 100% sure that the film will be released under the Hollywood Pictures label. It could be a different Disney brand.

Ummm, well I had my good friend and total stranger to me Dr. Blackencrackpot do an autopsy and he said the cause was neglect. You see no one was replying to any posts for an extended time so h2g2.com felt unloved and lost the will to live. Then it just slipped away of natural causes but the general cause was neglect from people like you who were too busy with their conspiracies to bring milk and cookies to its bedside.