h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wasn't it your lot?

I doubt we would have called them Britons. Also I think we mostly got them from other places.

Toybox, sorry - that was an old one. French school marks system gave you a zéro when in Germany you would have got a six.

French school marks... Didn't they join the Euro like the German marks?

A six at school was s**t. Six Deutschmarks were good money. Six € are s**t. Back to the drawing board I say.

Since 1960 New York City subway fares have matched the price of pizza slices rising at nearly identical rates due to inflation and other factors. Economists call it the pizza principle.

(Source: http://www.observer.com/2010/real-estate/subway-fare-upped-250-will-pizza-slice-prices-follow-suit )

While serving as an MP, Sir Isaac Newton only spoke once asking for a window to be opened.

At, or a touch over, the legal speed on a straight road and being followed too closely, you can get a good clear view of the driver behind picking his nose.

Just give the brake a bit of a tickle to get your brake light going...sorry, but I´m a and lightweights have a hard life.

Yeah - and it pays to wait for the right moment...

Should I say hooligan or should I say hail fellow?

Well, it teaches 'em. Problem is there are so many - and one day I'll get it wrong, fellow

Anyone who tries to crawl up my behind in his overhorsepowered GTI is an enemy. Fornicate him I say.

before he does it to you

Rod, megahate of yours if you´ve never ed in France. Heavies and lightweights are brotherhood - and the lorriepushers know the best eateries.

Not a but them knowing the best eateries ain't limited to France - though you can often tell you're not fully welcome ... (unless things have changed of course).

Just don´t behave like some of my countrymen and you´ll be welcome anywhere.
Megahate: people who believe their language, when spoken loud enough, will be understood by any restaurant personal. And they usually are those who generously add 50 €cents of tip to a 50€ bill.

Everyone knows that to be truly understood you just have to add an O to the end of English words. Comprehend-o what I'm saying-o?

Well, at least every latin-o speaker will understand-o when you confess you´re stupid-o. I´ll have to try that. O.

I actually cringed when I overheard an American tourist asking a bemused French waiter for "WAAAARREERRRR". I cringed again when another American (sorry Baron, nothing personal!) tipped a Venezian gondola driver with a $5 note. It annoyed me so much to see it sitting there amongst all the Euros