h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now y'see, THAT's why Flankers playing the Janitor...I can smell the TV choice award now...!

And now, winner of the best scene in soap opera history award, it's Flanker sucking a Mandrill up a vacum cleaner.

So to recap we've got Prof Orcus as Headmaster, Me as Janitor, Ass as Barowner, Kat his ex as a cleaner, Doc working in the hospital Zoe running around after him. It is all too much... and Onemantidalwave as two classmates who enjoy a fag/drink/sex behind the bike sheds. A mandrill and a giant croc.

Am I right so far?

What role have we got lined up for PK. and Mark Fowler?

...I thought we were making a sitcom!
Mind you, a soap might work better,maybe we should change the format.

Mark Fowler as...Himself!
...or Tucker Jenkins.

PK and Mark Fowler - love intrests for It's all too much and aonemantidalwave respectively?

Don't bring me into your sordid little fantsay world...you can have a twos up with the pair of them...I'm already romantically linked with dirty Kat!

A soapy sitcom then. Love intrest between PK . and mark fowler is good any ideas for the out and out baddie or has Ass got that role.

WOOOOAAAAHHHHHHHH. Love intrest between ME and Miss Kieth please. Otherwise you may find me becoming the out and out baddy.

THE GOOD
Flanker
aonemantidalwave
Its all too much....
Z.S.F.
P.K.

THE BAD
Orcus
Ass
The croc

THE UGLY
Mark Fowler
The Mandril
Greasy Kat

Have I missed anybody?

you have PK but Mark Fowler can be a jealous guy who also fancies PK. and aonemantidalwave can have the show's slapper Kat who is Ass's ex.Oh I think I hear the Janny coming again.....

*sniffing the air*

Ah can smell smoke an drink in the air. If ah catch they students at onything behind the bike shend

Ah'll feed them ta the croc so ah wull.



*sneaks up to the bike shed*

Up yours Grandad!
(V's being legged)
(Cheg off to the footie pitch)

* Janny out of breath *

Come back and fight ya wee b*****s...

In ma day ye wid git skelpt stupit fur that..Ach ah want a

*He shambles off to the pub muttering to himself*

Kids enter pub
"heh-heh! that showed the ol' codger"
Kids faces contort to that of horror.
Close up of Janny at bar.
Janny turns, glares and grins.
Music swells...

*Out of breath students fleeing janitor, stumble upon local Bar owner doing rude things with a mandrill*

All: Aaarrggghhhh!!
Ass: I can explain
Mandrill: Aar, Aar, Aar!

*Students flee again*

Just as the janny starts to chase after the kids he is stopped by the bar owner and the mandril who have got stuck together and are in agony.

Ass: Get the doc quick.

The doctor arrives on the scene.
all too much (jealous cos of docs relationship with the fringe) jacks the doc with a sock full of pennies rendering the doc unconcious.
Tidalwave is begged by ass to help with mandrill...

tidalwave says he will only pull Mandrill out if he can have the hand of dirty kat. The ass agrees...FOR NOW.
...and cue the music.

*Cut to PK arguing with Kat*

PK: You're not to see aonemantidalwave again
Kat: You're not my ma-tha!
PK: Yes I am!!

Slight bit of role reversal, but it might work?