h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A quick assessment of our peformance in the "School of Marriage":

Topic 1 - How to fill up the ice cube trays.
We hardly ever use ice, but when we do it's fifty/fifty. 5/10

Topic 2 - The toilet paper roll: Do they grow on the holders?
Nope, they're in the bathroom cupboard and 9 times out of 10, I change the empty roll for a new one. 8/10

Topic 3 - Is it possible to urinate using the technique of lifting the seat up and avoiding the floor/walls and nearby bathtub?
Yeah, easy and as an added bonus, when I leave the bathroom, the toilet seat is dry, down and the lid is closed. 8/10

Topic 4 - Fundamental differences between the laundry hamper and the floor.
My laundry usually makes it into the basket when I get changed/ready for bed. At worst it waits till the morning. My wife's laundry never gets into the basket, it is transferred directly from the bedroom floor to the washing machine (albeit usually by my wife). 7/10

Topic 5 - The after-dinner dishes and silverware: Can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink?
I wash up, no-one else in the house does it properly. Drying-up cloths are for wiping off water, not food. 7/10

Topic 6 - Loss of identity: Losing the remote to your significant other.
I get the remote if my wife goes to bed before me. 7/10

Topic 7 - Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
My wife will step over her shoes at the top of the stairs and then look for them in the living room. I know where almost everything is.
8/10

Topic 8 - Health watch: Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
The last time I bought my wife flowers was just a few weeks ago. Six roses

Topic 9 - Real men ask for directions when lost.
In the UK we drive on the left. It is usual therefore that the driver sits on the right. When my wife gives directions, I duck when she tells me to turn left. 9/10

Topic 10 - Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks?
I will happily admit to being at least as bad a driver as my wife. 7/10

Topic 11 - Learning to live: Basic differences between your mother and your wife.
If you can't tell the difference, you had a weird childhood. 8/10

Topic 12 - How to be the ideal shopping companion.
My wife hates to shop with me, because I love browsing. I bought her some shoes when we first met and we went into 6 shoe shops to find the right pair to match her handbag (which was at home) 7/10

Topic 13 - How to fight cerebral atrophy:
Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late.
I failed this one (six times and still struggle to remember Christmas). 0/10

So what if its a stereotype. Its funny. If you can't laugh at it then you are really sad.

Are you sure we're not married to the same woman Madent? So that's where she goes when she says she's going to get some catfood, even though we have plenty