h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Bestie's kicked it... there goes my prediction from post 20. Unless the NHS start employing Necromancers.

I wont have made a tYpograhical error for the last two years.

Oh, bother!

4th July 2007 Transformers the Movie is going to be released!

Ok its not a prediction as thats its scheduled release date but unless they make a total balls up it'll be COOL (they'll probably balls it up though!)


Petrol prices will still be under £0.99 with the occassional rise to over 0.99 when the governement and oil companies can get away with it. Like with the hurricane in new orleans, the prices went up as they blamed the lack of oil from new orleans. However if the governement tried to push the price up above 0.99 permanently there'd be an uproar...people just accepted the higher prices for that brief time.

A proclamation by reformed smack addict and erstwhile Tellytubby Tinky Winky will lead directly to the first ever papal abdication, and will immediately assume the mantle of pontiff.

Cliff Richard will get the Christmas Number 1 with his latest offering "The Koran" sung to the tune of "Aggadoo" ...

Brian May will have a hair cut finally spelling the demise of the permed mullet.

Freddy Flintoff will be elected God for life, and longer, if he's up to the task.

A freshly disinterred Queen Mum will grace Royal Ascot looking as fresh as she always did ...

Brian May have a new hair style?

http://howstrange.com/b3tapics/brian_may_poodle.jpg

french riots will leads to full scale revolution in france

revolution will spread to other parts of the world... (US- keep your fingers crossed)

world will ban together in unity and
adopt "one more saturday night" by the grateful dead as world national anthem

religion will be banned, everyone will stop caring about government and get back to whats truly important in life PARTYING!
i mean come on, who wants to go and get blown up if they're totally blazed!

Sorry to counter your prediction on petrol prices *but*...

By 2007 all the pumps that only offer two digit values ie. pence will now signify pounds.



We'll be paying one as in £1 / ltr for 'old' petrol* any more steps will be in leaps of £1's not pence. This is because (a) the cost of changing all the pumps is too high or so we will be told, and (b) they can the bsatrads!




*The car industry will get busy with making cars that can run on more than 10% vegatable content fuel. These car's will qualify to use the new pumps that have LCD matrix displays that can scroll 256 character messages for price info. It's these people that will only have to pay 80p / ltr.

Pinky and the Brain will FIANLLY take over the world. You have been wanrned...

beware the ides of... whatever it is....

bye

inspired by the last comment...

scooby doo and shaggy will finally find a real ghost!

Petrol prices in France will hit 2 Euros/litre leading the French to redefine a litre to make petrol seem cheaper. In a shock result, the UK government will support the French move as it will allow Chancellor David Blunkett to claim that petrol prices have come down.

Chancellor David Blunkett will resign over another corporate scandal involving both the oil companies and the board of the 'Le Systeme international d'Unites' (the one which will agree to make the litre smaller).

Prime Minister Brown will invite back bench MP Tony Blair to become the new Chancellor.

ITV will create a funny sitcom. shortly after pigs mastering aviation.

Someone will commit suicide on "Big Brother" to avoid being voted out. They will win.

Pig masterbating (a craze started by Rebecca Loos on "The Farm") will become Britain's number one sport, followed by a new monthly magazine "Pig Pleasuring Monthly" - which is so popular it becomes "Pig Pleasuring Weekly"

Pensioners lead protest on 10 Downing Street at the new legislation that you can only start claiming when you reach age 70, Government responds by offering new-borns a pension-plan.

Someone will yikesed the above post - so here it is again without the pig references.

Someone will commit suicide on "Big Brother" to avoid being voted out. They will win.

Pensioners lead protest on 10 Downing Street at the new legislation that you can only start claiming when you reach age 70, Government responds by offering new-borns a pension-plan.

in an effort to sell more lads magazines as well as zoo and nuts once a week. they will produce one every 12 hours called scrote and chump. they will have a man with a severd head on teh first page and will consist almost entirly of womens breasts and interveiws with ricky gervais where he will insult every ethnic or or minority group in his coulom 'im ricky gervais so you can all f**k off.'

a new game show will start presented by Noel Edmonds where divorcing couples will have to play for who keeps what in the divorce settlemant. the final round will be for the children. in the event of a draw they will be put into foster care. it will be called 'the sepreation game'

Tragic, but funny, and no doubt the producers are in talk sessions right now.

After winning the croquet world cup, croquet will become Britain's new nationial sport for roughly 3 weeks, before people finaly realise that it's sh*t and go back to playing the mildly less sh*t game of football.

A new channel will be launched in Australia to show the brand new 24-hour episodes of Neighbors. Demand for pot in Australia will vastly out-strip demand.

The alien spaceship that was supposed to have followed hale-bopp back in 1997, causing the mass suicide of the Heaven's Gate cult, will finaly arrive and apologise for being late, but there was an accident out by Neptune and the traffic was atrocious.

Sign-language will be well on the way of overtaking spoken language as the dominant means of cmmunictation.

The last remaining heir to the throne of France will lead a counter-revolution and be installed as king. George Bush will like the idea so much that he'll order a commision to look into converting America to a monarchy too, but anti-French opinions among the public will scupper the plans.

A Japanese robot will find the cure for cancer.

Elves will take control of Mongolia.

Pringles will be banned for being politically incorrect.

China will solve both its' hunger and overpopulation problems by resorting to organized cannablism.Each family wiyh more than one child will cook and preserve the larger one and donate it to a community food bank. The pop will be reduced at least 1/5 and the surplus of people jerky will sustain the remainder until someone remarks that whenyou eat chineze (or "a" chineze) you're hungry again a half hour later...

100,000 people will drown on the beach in a freak tidal wave, 100,000 people will be crushed in the mountains in a freak earthquake and 10,000 will be buried on the plains in freak mudslides

a major US city will be abandoned to floods with thousands dying while millions watch on tv

London will be disrupted by terrorist attacks on the underground

the Pope will die with thousands standing outside while millions watch on tv

Prince Charles will marry Camilla

Bush will remain President of the US

Ooops. No. That was this year. Whod'a thunkit.

B

The sun will become as black as sackcloth and the moon as blood.

Someone will behold a pale horse.

The Beast will turn up and say "Sorry, I know all this was supposed to happen in 2000 but there's so much bloody red tape nowadays."