h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

its the soup dragon

Could you get us some Blue String Soup while your there?
Personally, I intend to hire a personal body guard from the Sesame Street Protection Agency. That should keep me safe from these light weight hand puppets. I believe they do a good value package including invisible Snuffaluffagusses

Big Bird SSSSCCCCCRRRRRREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!

Hey, there's hundreds of little blue men outside my window,,, either it's time to visit the shrink again or the smurfs are in on it too

I'm goina immigrate to somewhere other than here this is all too frightening SSSSSSCCCCCCCRRRRREEEEAAAAAMMMMM! Bagpuss is attacking my door with MRS Piggy SSSSSSCCCCCCRRRREEEAAAAAMMMMM!

Now then, now then, what on earth have you done to be singled out. Have you been selling teddy stuffing down the canal again? You know they don't like that!

NONONONONONOONONONONON: i disclosed the much hidden fact that Mr (call me tony) Blair is a love child of Sue and Gorden the gopher Hlp help kermet is attacking me again with that thing

What reeeaaaallly worries me is the train line at the bottom of my garden/nature reserve,

*points telescope to the sky, searching for 'friendly' red dragons called Idris & sends Grandad to look for 'horizontally challenged' Controllers*

Has no-one else noticed the close resemblance our 'Tone' has to Andy Pandy, both in voice and "natural" mannerisms - are they in some way related? I think we should be told....

If Cherie starts wearing gingham & puts ribbons in her hair I'm

I think as long as she doesn't hang around with a penguin called Mr. Flibble we should be alright.

I'm holding the penguin hostage, Blurrrrrrrrr smiles and her and the big bird (yellow) gets it. Grannny:why are you very worried?

Indeed, I am also intrigued as to why Granny is worried...

for the worried "old" lady and curses to all puppets of the government

I expect Granny is worried about the possible involvement of Ivor The Engine. As, indeed, we all should be.

Ah, but Ivor the Engine being two dimensional and paper, it is fairly simple to cut up his tracks, such that he can't get to you. Its Captain Pugwash you have to watch, sneaking around with his cutlasses and all.

........and his dodgily named crew!!!!

The parrot said:
When blowing rainbows up someone's ass, make sure you blow the initial end of the rainbow inside, not the terminal end. Otherwise, a pot of gold will materialize
in the colon and cause extreme pain and potential death.

I don't understand
I
don't overstand
I
dont
know
whats
happening
to
me
i'm
growing
green
ffur
and
oh
no
i
dont
belive
it
i
am
about
to be
attacked
by

Oh dear. Nurse?

Oh yes please I love Opps; like nurses